Month: November 2018

12 Early Warning Signs of Conflict (# 2)

In the last post we shared six warning signs about conflict. So that you can properly assess your situation here are another six warning signs that there is conflict in your group.

More Warning Signs of Conflict

7.  Leaders compete with one another and act uncivil to each other

You know that you are in a difficult position when leaders compete with one another for time and funding. Instead you would rather see collaboration with each other to ensure that both side’s needs are being met.  It is never wise to tolerate people making nasty comments to one another or  belittling one another.  Do your leaders sense that they are on the same team or is each one in it for themselves?

8.  Differences lead to withdrawal

As you look out over your congregation when they worship, or at participants in meetings do you notice people missing who once were active?  Often, people withdraw from regular activity when they sense that trouble is around.  There are a lot of people that would rather flee than fight. In your organization are matters dealt with in a timely manner or are they allowed to fester – which leads to people staying away?

9.  Little laughter is heard

This is perhaps one of the easiest warning signs to notice, yet one of the hardest to effectively deal with.  Have you noticed an absence of laughter and good-natured fun in your congregation?  Do people have the ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously?  Is there a good spirit that becomes obvious in tough times? Or, do people tend to take things too seriously all of the time and miss the moving of the spirit creating new windows to experience God’s love?

10.  Giving is more a chore than a joy

This is a sign that probably was on your own list of warning signs.  When financial giving is down, it is hard to make your expenses. You notice people get nervous during these times wondering how they are going to pay the bills. Unless there has been a catastrophic event in your community like the closing of a factory, or business that employs members of your church, the odds are high that members are withdrawing their support for a reason. Discovering that reason is a significant step in turning around the situation.

11.  Pastor/Judicatory Leader spends valuable time calming people

I have noticed over the years that as colleagues share with me the story of their call to ministry they never say: “I’m in ministry to keep people happy!”  Have you noticed the same thing?  It is not the job of the pastor or judicatory leader to constantly smooth the waters so people can remain calm and not face reality.

When my son was a teenager he would freguently say:  “I’m bored” or “I’m not happy.”  I learned to respond:  “What are you going to do about that?”  or “How can I help you deal with those feelings?”  Most often it was simply a matter of listening to him blow off steam in order to refocus or discover new options.  When church leaders in authority feel that it is their job to keep the peace (rather than make it), everyone suffers.  How well do you allow people to express their feelings?  Are you able to give the work back to people who complain so that they can be part of the solution rather than become a problem?

Christopher Columbus had three ships as he sailed to the new world.  His flagship was the Santa Maria.  When he reached what we now know was the Caribbean, he noticed that the Pinta was always falling behind for one reason after another rather than sailing with the other ships.  This slowed everyone down.  As his patience was exhausted he told the smaller ship’s crew that the other ships were sailing west in the morning.  When they set out the next day where was the Pinta? Right behind them! Lesson: keep your eye on where your organization must go in order to stay a float.  Allow others the chance to join you solving problems.

12.  Called meetings poorly attended (or packed)

This warning sign can go either way and still point to a larger problem: do people feel that their participation is essential to the wider organization?

I remember one church that I joined that was faced with a dilemma. Leaders said that they wanted to grow numerically and welcome younger people with children.  With hard work, we accomplished that goal. Suddenly it became clear to people that this growth was necessitating changes.  There was now a need for a nursery. This meant that an adult class would have to relocate to the Sanctuary for Bible Study on Sunday mornings.

Further, the Sanctuary was becoming too crowded during Worship and (dare I say it?) newcomers were sitting in seats usually occupied by older members.  The Pastor called a Worship Committee meeting to discuss the matter.  Only 2 people attended.  After coaching him to deal with the situation, he held a church-wide meeting to discuss the matter. 15 minutes before the meeting a line was forming around the building!  50 people were engaged in what was happening.  It took us one hour to complete a SWOT diagram together listing the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that the new growth was causing.  The meeting decided that we would start a second worship service within the month. We also agreed to work hard at fellowship opportunities to create spaces for people to get to know one another and be a congregation in 2 worship services. It worked!

What happens when you call a meeting to discuss a situation your congregation faces?  Do people have a sense that their participation is important?  Do they have a belief that they will all get to have a say, but not all will have their way?

Conclusion

There are 12 warning signs that conflict may be present in your church. Knowing these signs and effectively dealing with them can save your church energy and time.  Bottom line: when these warning signs are present do something!!

In our next post I will share some options for how you might respond if you see these signs.

12 Early Warning Signs of Conflict (# 1)

@makingchurchdecisions.com we have discussed what conflict is and how to deal with it.  This article examines the 12 early warning signs that conflict may be brewing in your organization.

Danger Ahead

Just like a lighthouse warns ships that they are too close to the shoreline, there are signals that warn that conflict is in your midst.  These danger signs are present whenever there is tension in your organization.  The more signs that are present the higher the conflict level. The higher the level the more time you will need to devote to correcting the situation.  Learning these signs allows you to take appropriate steps to correct the situation before it turns into the perfect storm.

12 Warning Signs (the first 6!)

 1.  No clear group purpose or vision

A church or organization that does not know why it exists drifts on the tendencies of yesterday.  There is little motivation to try new ways of reaching people or making disciples.  Without a vision the people perish.  (sound familiar?)  What is the purpose or vision in your organization? Do people know it?  Is it compelling enough to draw people together to accomplish it?

2.  Tradition becomes primary; change avoided

Churches in conflict hold onto the past as if it is their life-preserver. Change is held at bay.  Unfortunately,  this does not allow you to respond to the wonderful opportunities to be in ministry with your community.  When tradition rules – people often lose.

3.  Major decisions are put off or always under consideration

Ever been in a meeting and had a sense deja vu?  That feeling that you have been here before and faced the same issue?  Churches that try to keep the peace rarely face the decisions in their midst with grace. Instead, they talk things to death hoping that everyone will eventually get on bored.  I wish this helped but it doesn’t.  To be sure, talking through an issue is vital for a healthy organization.  It allows creative options to surface and be implemented.  However, putting off major decisions is rarely a good idea.  There is a time for everything.

4.  Frequent leadership turnover

Look over the leadership lists of your church for the last 5 years.  Has there been frequent turnover?  Have you changed pastors for poor reasons or blamed your leaders for how things are going? Do people think that getting rid of “them” solves the problems in your situation?

When people quit or become inactive there is often a good reason.  Perhaps someone attacked them in a meeting or outside of it.  Perhaps they did not feel that their contribution was valuable.  Whatever the reason, when leaders quit it is usually a report card on how the organization is dealing with matters.  We simply do not have the time to waste in being unproductive. Time is valuable.

5.  People are content to sit back and criticize

Ah, it’s a bad sign when the unofficial quarterbacks come out in the midst of disagreements and make offensive statements about the work and motivations of others.  True, Moses faced the murmurings of the Israelites when they were in exodus from Egypt. But today’s leaders do not have to put up with it.   Does your organization tolerate unjustified negative statements to be made about others or allow a spirit of criticism to reign?

6.  People leave meetings (and worship) quickly

Here is another important warning sign. What happens when your meetings or worship is over?  Do people run to their cars to go home quickly or is there a sense of fellowship and support that lingers? When people leave quickly it is often because they do not want to be wrapped up in the drama of opposing positions or tensions.  Not even the inducement of coffee or snacks will make them remain.  This warning sign often signals that people are uncomfortable with one another or the situation they face.

What to do!

Review the list of these first six warning signs of conflict and make a note of the ones that you see present in your church.  Remember to look beyond the leadership group as you look for the signs. Often the fraying of good relationships starts at the edges and not in the center.

If you see some of the signs of conflict starting to show up then start to address them straight away. There are many helpful articles in the archive of makingchurchdecisions.com that can help you to develop some strategies.

Above all, do not ignore the situation hoping that it will simply go away by itself.  The very well-being of your organization is at stake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cricket and Consensus

What on earth does cricket have to do with consensus?!? In many parts of the world they share a common reputation as being minority activities, that are confusing and take way too long to complete. By way of reputation cricket and consensus have a lot in common in the USA, South America, parts of Asia and Europe.

“Popular” sports aren’t popular everywhere

I’m asking all you people from countries that don’t understand cricket to show a little humility here. Cricket is consistently judged as one of the most popular sports in the world (#2 actually) with a fan base of about 2.5 billion. In Australia alone over 1.4 million people play cricket on a regular basis. That’s about 5% of the country’s population! I guess that it is possible that a sport that is strange to some makes perfect sense to others and is something that they value a great deal.

Consensus based decision making is unfamiliar to many people around the world. Sadly, some think that because it isn’t popular in their country that somehow it isn’t popular elsewhere. However that is far from true. Consensus based decision making is incredibly popular in a lot of cultures and groups around the world. I encourage people from societies that are far more combative in their business meetings to take pause and not negatively judge consensus discernment just because it is unfamiliar.

Just because something is strange or unfamiliar to us doesn’t mean that other people find it wierd.

Cricket and consensus are different to their peers

If you are not familiar with cricket then it can certainly take a while to understand the rules. Once you understand the rules, it can take longer to understand the field placings and the strategies of the teams. Certainly there is no other sport that in any way looks like cricket. But that doesn’t make it wrong.

Baseball, a less popular game than cricket, has its rules. It has some similarities with cricket – people on a field, a bat and ball, places to run, etc. Comparing baseball and cricket has been likened to comparing checkers (drafts) to chess. There are some familiar elements in the two games but they are as different as chalk and cheese.

So it is with parliamentary procedures and consensus discernment. They both involve people in a room, talking with each other and trying to come to a decision. But after that they start to lose their similarity! If we are going to make consensus discernment work then we have to accept that it has different rules.

A big mistake that some adopters of consensus make is trying to keep too many of the rules from the old game. Rather, you should learn the new rules of the new game. Yes it can take a bit of time but you just have to do it. Afterall it’s a different game.

Consensus and cricket are complicated

A major objection to introducing consensus discernment is that it is very hard to understand. The argument goes that its rules are complicated and hard to explain. There is another thing that consensus and cricket have in common – bad press about how complicated the rules are. For the record there are 42 laws of cricket. The rules of baseball don’t look any easier to me!

I don’t know how anyone can say that Roberts Rules of Order are easy to follow. In many regional and international meetings there is a “Parliamentarian” appointed to provide guidance on the rules to the Chairperson of the meeting.

If a meeting process is so complicated that you need a specialist to interpret the rules then that is a very complex set of rules. In contrast I have never seen a consensus discernment process that needs an expert to provide rulings for the Chairperson. Sure, when a system is new there may be a mentor to help. However once it becomes familiar there is no need for a consensus process adjudicator on the stage. The reason for this is that the rules are really simple – work together to find a solution!

Conclusion

As the cricket season gets underway in the Southern Hemisphere I am looking forward to a summer of long (five day / 30 hours) and short (3 hour) versions of cricket. Many of you will think it is a novelty, strange and complicated. It isn’t if you come from the sub continent, Australasia, South Africa or England!

Next time you are tempted to consider that consensus discernment is novel, strange or complicated just remember – if you come from another place it may be normal, familiar and simple.