Month: December 2018

12 ways to break an impasse in your group

What’s an Impasse?

 

An impasse can prevent your leaders from making an important decision in a timely way. Therefore being frozen – stuck in an impasse – can be detrimental to the very future of your organization.

In preparation for discerning the matter, presentations have been made outlining the situation and proposing a specific direction forward. Just when you think your organization is ready to decide the issue, the unfortunate occurs:  an impasse is reached. Another option has gathered support and the group is now split between the choices.  We call this situation an impasse.

An impasse is when there are two or more choices on the table and people are unable to choose one.  Yogi Bera once said when you come to a fork in the road:  take it.  This is disastrous advice!

Impasses can paralyze a group and prevent them from making decisions in a timely manner.  Sometimes this happens because two different options seem equally good.  An impasse may also occur because people have lobbied for support outside the meeting and people feel a sense of loyalty to key leaders and their ideas.  Miscommunication can also result in an impasse. When people are stuck and unable to embrace change, an impasse seems like standing still in a fork in the road.

Nevertheless, a decision is not going to be made unless you deal with the issues and feelings causing the impasse.

Basic Steps Forward

Here is a list of specific things that you can do to help your group move beyond an impasse to make a good decision.  Consider these steps the next time you find yourself in your organizational “fork in the road”:

  1. Break the key issue down into smaller parts. Flag the most difficult matters and reserve them for later.
  2. Ask the parties to share why a specific alternative is unacceptable to them.  Draw the conversation to the big picture – the goals and away from the detail – strategy / methods. Then, ask people what they like about an idea before them.
  3. Look for creative options that may arise. When people focus on a goal they can see many ways to achieve them. Creative ideas come from looking first at the main goal.
  4. Listen carefully for assumptions not based on fact and point them out.
  5. Once ideas and accurate information are out in the open be prepared to take a break. Ask the parties to use the break to think about the various alternatives presented.
  6. Reconvene and review the parties’ priorities and common interests. List them on newsprint for the group to refer to as they make their final decision.
  7. Recognising common ground really helps bring people together when they might otherwise see each other as opponents.
  8. Encourage the parties to recognize and acknowledge each other’s points of view.
  9. Ask the parties for their help to move forward. What would make it possible for them to make a decision? What are they willing to give up for the good of the entire community?  Look at the impact of various solutions on all involved.
  10. Ask the parties to indicate what would change or happen if they reached a solution.  This is an opportunity for people to share their feelings.  Make sure this is a safe experience. Encourage people to use “I” statements and be respectful.
  11. In serious stalemates, offer the parties mediation, as opposed to letting the conflict fester and grow.  Use a trained facilitator.  Help people to not take the matter personally.
  12. Choose a way forward.  Be sure to thank people for their hard work and diligence.  Let them know that they have modeled the very best witness to others in facing their differences.

What to do when you break an impasse?

Remember that there are people who are affected by the decision that did not make it. So make sure that you promptly, clearly and pastorally communicate the decision to the wider community. Be quick and try to keep ahead of the rumour mill!

Not everyone who was stuck in the impasse has had the benefit of the process that made it possible for others to move. Think about how it is possible to share that journey with others. This can make  it possible for them to take the emotional and intellectual steps through the impasse.

Celebrate. People have worked hard, respected their community and sought to be faithful. Give thanks.

Conclusion

An impasse does not have to divide your faith community!  With proper leadership and a clear process, it can be a situation that reminds your group of their values and help them reclaim them. Groups can emerge from an impasse stronger and in the future be better equiped to make good decisions in a timely manner.

25 Characteristics of Effective Groups

Are you in an Effective Group?

You know whether you are in effective small groups or not.  Am I right?

Recently, I changed Sunday School classes. The people in my previous class are really nice people. However the group rarely got into its Bible lesson without getting sidetracked by current events or politics. Some people were getting hurt by not agreeing with the majority view – others stopped attending. I simply grew frustrated. I was feeling that I was being held captive to someone’s rants or raves. It was not why I was there!

Can you identify with my experience? Sadly, many Christians do not feel that they’re a part of effective groups. Groups come in many forms – small groups for study or fellowship, a ministry team or a leadership Council. There are things that you can do to ensure your groups are effective.

How would you rate your group?

Think of groups to which you currently belong. Review this list of characteristics. It should be a group that meets regularly and has a clearly defined role. For each characteristic, rate your groups by circling a number at the end of the characteristic.

Key:    1=not really      5=so-so    10=on target

  1. Everyone arrives and leaves on time                            1     5     10
  2. Our leader is trained and effective                                 1     5     10
  3. Our group has a clearly defined purpose                     1     5     10
  4. All members participate                                                     1     5     10
  5. We communicate clearly and directly                          1     5     10
  6. Our discussions are focused and productive             1     5     10
  7. We don’t judge but seek to understand                       1     5     10
  8. We periodically evaluate how we are doing               1     5     10
  9. We have a set goal or agenda when we meet             1     5     10
  10. We pray for one another rather than prey                  1     5     10
  11. Our group accomplishes it’s goals                                 1     5     10
  12. We make decisions by consensus                                   1     5     10
  13. We all feel responsible for the group’s success        1     5     10
  14. We deal with conflict in a timely manner                   1     5     10
  15. We have a shared vision                                                      1      5     10
  16. Our group is growing as a team                                       1     5     10
  17. We do not pre-judge one another                                   1     5     10
  18. We value differences                                                             1     5     10
  19. We seek clarity not rambling                                            1     5     10
  20. No one dominates discussion                                           1     5     10
  21. We share information related to our task                   1     5     10
  22. We avoid group think or giving in to appease           1     5     10
  23. We use “I” statements                                                         1     5     10
  24. We test assumptions before making decisions         1     5     10
  25. We practice courteous communication practices    1     5     10

Tally up your score.

Look over your responses carefully.  Which column has the most circles?  Which has the least?  What does this tell you about your group? What are some specific ways your group can improve?

Conclusion

Being part of a group should be a good experience.  We have simply too many demands on our time to waste in a group that is not effective. I encourage you to not accept an under performing group. After you have analysed the group’s life talk to others about whether they share your concerns. You are unlikely to be alone in your thoughts. Then work out together what can be done to address each of the low scores. You don’t have to fix them all at once – but do make a start.

Old Year New Year

As we draw to a close for 2018 Julia and I would like to share with you some of the highlights from the year and some of the developments for 2019.

Visit course.makingchurchdecisions.com to check out our web course based on the book. Or email me at terence@makingchurchdecisions.com if you are interested in our workshops on The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together or “Understanding and Responding to Conflict.”

We hope that you can look back on your leadership during 2018 with satisfaction and towards 2019 with hope.

Terence and Julia

PS: If you are willing we appreciate it if you can post a review on the book at Amazon

Ways to Respond to the Warning Signs of Conflict

Navigating Conflict

In the last two posts @makingchurchdecisions.com explained the 12 warning signs that indicate conflict is brewing in your congregation.  This post will share practical ideas for effectively dealing with these indications of conflict.

Have you ever been in a deep fog when driving a car or navigating a boat? This deep mist makes it hard to get from A – B because it limits your sight. Deep conflict can be just as devastating to an organization if you do not learn how to navigate through it successfully.

Here are some practical ideas to move you though the mist to accomplish your God-given mission.

Specific Ideas for Each Conflict Warning Sign

 1.  No clear group purpose or vision
  • Hold a Vision Retreat for Church Leaders and Members to discern their future together.  Specifically, see if you can write the purpose of the church in one sentence and plan events and activities for the coming year that accomplish it.
  • Design a phrase that defines why your congregation exists and post it in a significant place for all to see.  Post it on your web site, newsletter and any other media you use to communicate with others about your church
  • Preach on Matthew 28 and share the mission that all Christian disciples receive from Christ.  If possible, put faces on the people that you teach and baptize so members can appreciate that they are engaged in God’s mission.
2.  Tradition becomes primary; change avoided
  • Add one new activity to your Christmas celebrations that reach new people during the season.  Perhaps instead of holding a traditional “Hanging of the Greens” or Advent Story Festival, consider holding a “Living Nativity” one evening where members dress up in character at various stations telling the story of the coming and birth of Christ.  Some congregations do this in a public place where the whole community can witness the story.  For fun, add live animals and music.
  • Hold an evaluation meeting on how your church leaders do things throughout the year.  For each ministry ask:
    • Who are we trying to reach by this activity or event? What do we know about this age today?
    • How well are we doing it? (numbers reached, etc.)
    • What can we do differently to be more effective?
3.  Major decisions are put off or always under consideration
  • Have a list of items under consideration that have yet to be resolved. Decide that they must be decided in 3 months or they are removed from the list.
  • Spend more time in the “Information Sharing” phase of your church decision meetings.  Clearly present what is under consideration, why is the situation is important to the congregation and why a decision must be made.
  • Stop the “Parking Lot” meetings that occur after the church leadership meeting adjorns.  Simply refuse to change to the decisions made by a few individuals after leaders deliberate and make a decision together.
  • Invite people to come to meetings prepared to make a decision.  Be sure they have the notice of the meeting in advance.  Hand out the Agenda and related materials or information 2 weeks in advance.
  • Use a consensus building decision making process (see our book: “The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together” (Abingdon, 2017)  for the specific steps of this process.  This method engages everyone to participate and generate creative options.
4.  Frequent leadership turnover
  • Hold a Ministry Fair/Reception near All Saints day or Pentecost each year. Have leaders responsible for the specific ministry they lead prepare a presentation area that outlines what their area covers, what it does, and what they have accomplished during the year. It could be presented as part of the worship or adult ministry activity on Sunday.
  • Recognize leaders for their accomplishments and spirit. Some churches do this during the offering one Sunday a month by recognizing different people in the congregation who exemplify a generous of spirit for the time and energy they share generously with the church. Other churches hold a Leadership Appreciation Day once a year.
5.  People are content to sit back and criticize
  • During Lent, give up whining in the church.  Make it interesting.  Collect a dollar from anyone who criticizes another.  Give the collected funds to a mission project.
  • Hold a class on Spiritual Gifts and encourage adults to participate.  This series should include a Bible Study on the gifts, provide an inventory for people to identify their gifts, and show how each of these gifts are all necessary in the live of the congregation.
6.  People leave meetings (and worship) quickly
  • Have a short reception before meetings with cheese and fruit or a simple dessert.  Allow this time to be a quick check-in with one another.
  • Have a Fellowship Time after Worship hosted by various members of the congregation.  Be sure the beverage is really tasty. This can also be a time to hand out meeting notices and agendas as well as provide a time to be present to answer questions people may have about an upcoming event.
7.  Leaders compete with one another and act uncivil to each other
  • Offer a Team Building training for church leaders
  • Preach a 3 part series on being on God’s team using Ephesians 4
8.  Differences lead to withdrawal
  • Arrange visitation for members who stop coming to worship or attending meetings as soon as you noice their absence.  This should be done within 2 weeks by a home visit, telephone call or email.  Let them know that they are missed.  Enquire if there is a reason you should know about.
  • Be vigilent to skirmishes that break out over a difference of opinion.  When possible, intervene. Thank both parties for their commitment to the church and invite them to pray about the matter which will be added to the next church meeting.
  • Remind people:  “All can have their say, but not all will have their way.”  Invite people to be open to discerning God’s will and learning to comproise.
9.  Little laughter is heard
  • Teach people to be hard on issues and soft on one another
  • Establish a Behavioral Guideline / Covenant. Include the task of not taking oneself too seriously yet taking Christ’s guidance very seriously.
  • Model being relaxed and even laughing at oneself when a genuine opportunity presents itself.
  • Teach a class on the humor of Christ or the funny things in the Bible that were said for effect or to demonstrate the awesome power of God.  (i.e.  Sarah laughing when she heard she would bear a son in her advanced years.)
10.  Giving is more a chore than a joy
  • Have mission moments during the Sunday Service that share specifically what finds go toward in the church that are transforming people’s lives. If possible, have the people involved share their story and thank the church members.
  • Hold a Stewardship Campaign – this helps you be realistic in what finds you can expect from members and adjust the budget to respect giving.
  • Limit fundraisers.  Some churches have one event after the other just to pay the bills.  This can be exhausting.  While some of these events are vital, they also demonstrate a deeper problem in the church.  Identify why the church cannot pay it’s bills and make adjustments or hold a meeting to discuss other options.
11.  Pastor/Judicatory Leader spends valuable time calming people
  • Clarify the Pastor’s Job.  The Staff-Parish Committee (or pertinent group in your church that handles staff issues), should meet and review, or write, the Pastor’s Job description if one does not exist.  Church leaders should then review and approve it.  Finally, share it with the congregation.  (Obviously, do not include a line about keeping everyone happy.)
  • Learn how to deal with your level of conflict that usually blames the pastor.  Bring in a neutral person to assess your level of conflict, and recommend steps you can take to de-escalate the situation and lessen stress.
  • Make it a last resort to call in a judicatory leader to be ‘judge and jury’.  Only invite them in to teach you how to learn ways to make better decisions, respect each another as Christians, and hear about new ways to be effective in ministry.
12.  Called meetings poorly attended (or packed)
  • Have an Agenda for every meeting that lists vital tasks.  Never meet simply to meet.
  • Rather than have “run-on” discussions which drain people, use process tools to gain full participation.  These may include a SWOT analysis (which measures your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats), or an APA Chart (which lists what you must Achieve, Preserve or Avoid in order to be a faithful church).  You can find more activities in organizational resources, in our book  or on-line.

Summary

The best way to use these practical ideas for diffusing the early warning signs of conflict, is to form a small team of 3-4 people to work with you.  First, identify the warning sign you notice most in your congregation now.  Next, work together to select an idea most suited for your group and put it into practice.  Finally, evaluate how the situation is going.  After a set time, do you notice a difference in your congregation or organization?

Conflict often exhibits several warning signs at the same time, so repeat this process as needed.  Remember these are merely early warning signs of conflict.  For more serious realities like people fighting or calling one another names, people taking sides, etc.  you will need to address the level of conflict appropriately.

For more information on the levels of conflict, read Chapter 2 of our book, or review the articles archived on the subject.

Blessings!