Ambiguity: anxiety or opportunity?

Ambiguity: an unwelcome visitor?

I know a great many people for whom uncertainty is a cause of great internal stress. Ambiguity might mean that they don’t know what is going to happen next, or whether someone is going to behave well, or unresolved issues sit on the table. At such times they get stressed.

Ambiguity – or the space of not knowing – is an uncomfortable place for many people. It arrives unbidden when that which we know or could expect is thrown into uncertainty. There is no doubt that such uncertainty can be disorienting and as such a cause for concern.

Even though uncertainty may be unwelcome it is also a place of opportunity.

The Discomfort of Ambiguity

This is the title of a blog post by Rev Dr John Squires. I am indebted to my colleague and fellow Uniting Church Minister for stimulating the following thoughts.

In his post, John makes reference to a book by William Bridges entitled Managing Transitions (2009). For him, transitions have three stages

• the letting go
• the neutral zone of being in-between; and finally
• the connection into a new place, a new way of being.

Ambiguity and consensus building

Conventional debating styles assume a rigid commitment to staying with our starting convictions. Debating, and the parliamentary style of decision-making that uses it, like certainty. Debaters are supposed to resist every new idea raised against their point of view. Debating hates ambiguity – the idea of uncertainty!

In contrast, consensus-building processes are not premised on people firmly holding on to predetermined positions. Rather, they need people to be open to changing their view. Consensus-building requires that people will be prepared to let go of their first ideas or thoughts. Indeed people in this process are genuinely open to letting go of their current positions. Consensus-building encourages people to enter into the “endings” which Bridges sees as the way to something new.

Staying in the Neutral Zone

When people are disoriented through having to let go of what they know the tendency is to seek equilibrium as quickly as possible. Like a person drowning in a raging sea, they grasp after any flotsam or jetsom floating nearby in a search for security.

There is no doubt that when we realise that we must let go of a deeply held view it can be unnerving. Leaping into the unknown when our deepest convictions and practices are found to be wanting can be very stressful. It’s natural to want to lock in on an alternative as quickly as possible! However, this is a grave mistake and can short change the path to growth and new insights.

If you are a person who gets stressed when there is ambiguity I encourage you to take a deep breath and slow down. Ask yourself, and talk with others, about why you struggle with uncertainty. Address those needs in yourself that make it hard for you to end things and live in a place of not knowing for a time. Find companions in that place but do learn to stay there for a while. This place is not your enemy.

As Bridges encourages, in that neutral, in-between zone, there is a need for us to nurture and develop a capacity to live within the discomfort of ambiguity which arises during the experience of loss, as we move away from the familiar.

Growing Possibilities in the Neutral Zone

In his blog post, John Squires reflects upon the story of the so-called “Prodigal Son”. In the story, the younger son reflected on what it might mean to return shamed and impoverished. The father wondered what the various options were for his relationship with his son as he approached from a distance. The other son wrestled with how his relationship with father and brother might unfold with the brother’s return. These were times of openness, wondering, fear and possibilities.

Without the uncertainty generated by changing the known – ending the familiar – new futures could never begin. Stepping into the neutral zone made new futures possible. Living with ambiguity made amazing things possible.

Only by living with the discomfort of ambiguity is it possible to imagine new beginnings. Ambiguity – the place of not knowing – is the place for creativity and imagination to flourish. Ambiguity can be both anxiety-inducing and a God given opportunity.

Conclusion

Consensus-based discernment processes can be experienced as stressful by some people. Not knowing how the discussion is going to unfold and where the decision will land can cause some people quite a bit of anxiety. Yet, this place of ambiguity is the creative space – the place of opportunity.

As Bridges notes, if we are able to sit within the neutral zone and engage with the discomfort of ambiguity, then we can experience change and transition as a constructive and life-giving experience. The neutral zone can become a pivot away from the past, into the future. That is the best outcome of a process of transition.