Author: Julia Wallace

Julia is a layperson in the United Methodist Church, USA who works in Mediation and Conflict Transformation. She is co-author of the book: "The Church Guide for Making Decisions Together."

Fruit of the Spirit Supports Consensus

Consensus and Choices

Consensus is hard work – it demands that we make choices as a faith community.  Yogi Bera, the Baseball Commissioner in the US, once jokingly said:  “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”  As ridiculous as it sounds, churches often make the mistake of merging opposing choices to try and keep the peace.  This rarely satisfies anyone. Moreover, this approach can actually cause frustration that results in fights and uncivil behavior.

Galatians 5: Fruit of the Spirit

Paul understood that they way people treat one another often places them in a position to make good or bad decisions.  Think back to the last major decisions you faced.  Was it a good experience?  How did people treat one another during the process?

“But what happens when we live God’s way?  He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others (love), exuberance about life (joy), serenity (peace).  We develop a willingness to stick with things (forbearance), a sense of compassion of the heart (kindness), and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people (goodness).  We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments (faithfulness), not needing to force our way in life (gentleness), able to marshal and direct our energies wisely (self-control).        [The Message and NIV versions]

These are often called the Fruit of the Spirit.  The believer who walks in the Spirit of God does not need a system of laws to produce the right behavior – they rise from within. Jesus told us before he ascended to the Father that he would send us the Spirit to help us live together in community.

Carefully read the 3 categories of these gifts defined below.  Which is easy for you?  Which is harder to accomplish?

Inner Qualities that reflect our relationship to God

The first three fruit (love, joy and peace) have to do with our relationship with God.  Love nurtures an obedience and willingness to serve God before all else.  Joy provides a deep sense of well-being that all is well in God and that the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Peace comes from being right with God – it reminds that God is in control.

REFLECTION:  When you make decisions, how do you live out of these qualities? What practices are a part of your process that acknowledges God and God’s will? How does your method of making decisions take God’s will into consideration?

The Christian’s attitude toward others

The next 3 fruit help us properly focus our attitude toward others.  Often when we are in the heat of a decision, there is a risk of treating others who disagree with you as being wrong or the enemy.  This should never happen.  Consider the true meaning of the next three qualities:

Patience is being tolerant of others even to the point of enduring pain inflicted by them.  It is a calm willingness to accept situations that are irritating or painful.

Kindness is being decent to others – being humane toward others. Especially people different from you.  Not remaining silent in the face of a wrong, really matters; allowing God to use you to make things better is important.  Kindness stands ready to forgive.

Goodness is often called generosity.  It is a moral and spiritual excellence in doing good for others.  think of it as allowing GOd’s grace to pass through you to others so God gets the glory.

REFLECTION: How would you rate your treatment of others who think differently from you?  How do you live out these qualities in the way you listen to another perspective or proposal?  Would you say that God is glorified in the conversations and interactions of people when they gather to make decisions or is more like a power play or competition?

Living out our Christian Calling

The last three Fruit of the Spirit guides how we live out our Christian calling with one another.  Faithfulness is being loyal and trustworthy to God’s best.  It is believing that God has a higher purpose. Gentleness causes us to be humble and work for God’s best in us.  Self-Control is often misunderstood to mean controlling how things turn out so that our choice prevails. Rather, it is restraining anything in us that prevents us from following God whole heartedly.  Sometimes this means that we act in ways that leave us open to fresh perspectives and options to the decisions we face.

REFLECTION: How do people in your congregation or organization live out their calling when making decisions?  Do you seek God’s will together or does your process cause a ‘free-for-all’ of clashing wills and agendas?  How might you foster these fruit in your group?

Ways to use this material

Galatians 5 makes a good study for leadership groups and decision-makers.  Consider ways to keep this material before people such as Devotions, Preaching series, or as an Evaluation tool.

Conclusion

We can learn several things from this Bible passage:

  1.  The Holy Spirit is our Sustainer, Guide and Counselor whose presence makes a real difference in how we live in community and approach decisions.  The Spirit helps us to be in tune with God’s purpose for our lives and religious groups.
  2. We are not perfect! We are all a work in progress – Methodists call it ‘moving on to perfection’. Do not get frustrated or impatient with yourself or others. Strive to let God dwell in you so you are more in God’s image.
  3. The Fruit of the Spirit is not a gauge to judge one other or put others down.  How we live out these fruit in unique although there are common traits.
  4. When people see these fruit in us – they want to come to Christ! People are turned off by infighting and a lackluster witness of how Christians work together to make decisions.  Is God glorified when they see your actions and hear your words?

May God’s fruit dwell in you and be evident when you make your next decision.

 

5 factors that lead to failure

 

Making changes in any organisation may result in failure. Moving toward a consensus based process of making decisions is no different. Avoid these 5 factors and improve your chance of successfully bringing in consensus discernment.

It takes time and energy to bring change. Obviously there are factors that can lead to failure when implementing change. However it is well worth the effort when you hear people exclaim that they have finally worked together faithfully to discern the will of God. Anyone can make a decision – it takes a faith community to discern a Godly direction!

The process outlined in our book, “The Church Guide For making Decisions Together” involves Preparation, Invitation, Deliberation, and Action. When done properly, people will feel good about the decisions they make together. When not done properly, people feel cheated and misled. There are ways to reduce the risk that your change process will lead to failure.

Here are 5 major mistakes that leaders often make when introducing a consensus building approach to making decisions. Watch out for, and guard against, these 5 factors that lead to failure.

  1. Failure to model the approach

    From the Chairperson to the newest participant, active listening and respect for one another is crucial when making decisions. Leaders must be genuine in wanting to hear all points of view. Show patience and careful listening in their Deliberative Sessions. Be sure to ask people what they mean if it is not clear. Help those who need it to say what is on their mind. This helps people see how it works. Once confident, they will be willing to try it in their own context.

  2. Failure to adequately prepare people

    People deserve to know what is expected of them in this discernment process and how to engage fully. This is the same with anything new.  Therefore, there is no substitute for an Orientation Session that explains the process well and how to participate. When people are confused they make mistakes or find it hard to trust the leadership. As a result they will complain and drag their feet.

    Another failure in preparation is not forming inclusive and diverse small groups ahead of time. Neglecting to identify and train the small group facilitators to guide their work is a recipe for disaster. We recommend hiring a Process Facilitator for the first time the process is used in large groups. This ensures that no preparation is missed and leaders are trained and participants engaged.

  3. Failure to ask open questions

    Open questions (one’s that cannot be answered by “yes” or “no”) lead to a good discussion and creativity. If people are offered only the chance to agree or disagree the conversation quickly grinds to a halt. Examples of open questions are: “What might be some of the things we need to take into account about this idea?” “How do you feel / respond / think about that comment?”

    All too often, leaders unintentionally ask questions that lead people in a specific direction. “Do you believe that…?”  “Don’t you agree that…?”  “Should we do this?” Questions from the Chairperson can make people feel like they are being railroaded into a particular direction. Therefore a consensus building decision-making process crafts questions that engage people around both the possibilities and consequences of their decision. Powerful questions include: “What do you need to know in order to make this decision?” “Why is this issue important to you?”

    Closed questions close off discussion. However open questions generate the response necessary to generate new insights and options. They make it possible to complete the process with integrity.

  4. Failure to get the right people to the table

    Who would throw a party and not make a guest list?  Silly, right?  Leaders who have an important decision looming need to give thought to who should be involved in making it. When possible, leaders (as well as stakeholders) should work together. This eliminates the mistake of making assumptions or not making decisions based on reality.

  5. Failure to provide enough time for the process

    We have seen facilitators not schedule the process wisely. So inadequate time is provided for Information Sharing and not enough time for the small groups to complete their discussions. Time spent doing these things well means that the time used in moving to a decision is often much quicker. Yes, this process invests more time than a traditional “Let’s vote!” approach in the information and discussion stage. However it gets results because the best options for action get raised, there are less amendments from the floor, and reduced confusion about what is being decided. Plus, less time is spent revisiting issues later with this approach!  The book lists various tips that save time. These include the use of colored cards to gauge feelings without the need for people to make speeches at the microphone.

Conclusion

With knowledge, you can avoid making these mistakes. Reading our book:  “The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together” and using the process in your setting will work. Send specific questions to us through this site and we will respond. We are also available for consultations and training. Contact us for more information at julia@makingchurchdecisions.com or terence@makingchurchdecisions.com.

11 ways to use our book to bring change in your context

When we wrote our book we wanted to support you in bringing about change. Therefore it is our sincere hope that you will use our book to bring about change. We all know that “Shift Happens!” However we also know that it does not happen by accident. It takes intentional action.

So, here are some practical ideas to make the transition in your ministry context. It is time to move from the traditional method of making decisions based on Robert’s Rules of Order. Now is the time to change to a more faith-based process for making decisions. You can get the book at Cokesbury or Amazon.

  1. Organise Reading Groups

    Get the book into the hands of key members by organizing groups to read and discuss the book. Then name a convenor for each group and have groups meet in homes for prayer and discussion. Read and discuss a chapter a week – this will take only 8 weeks to complete the study. A basic outline for discussion can include:  What seems important to you in this chapter? How could we use this material in our church?  What might need to change around here? What questions do you have about this chapter?

  2. Use the Guide as Sunday School Curriculum

    Offer the book to Adult Sunday School Classes, or home groups for discussion.  Study a chapter a week. Ask teachers to provide a short (say, 10 minute) synopsis of the chapter. Use the Reflection Questions at the end of each chapter to guide discussion.

  3. Pastor Picks

    Name the book as a ‘must-read’ for your Congregation and order books for purchase by individuals. Provide a one page outline with reflection questions to help people move through the book.

  4. Leadership Reports

    Assign a chapter to various leaders and ask them to present the highlights of their section at your Church Council or Judicatory Meeting. This Report should be no more than 20 minutes long. End each report with the question: “How can we do this here?” or “Why is this important to us?”

  5. Sermon Series

    Read the book and design a series of sermons on the highlights. Use a Biblical text from each chapter to cover key thoughts and practical application. Be prepared to advocate for change.

  6. Pastor’s Bible Study Class

    Consider offering a series of classes on the Scripture and topics covered in each chapter. Also be sure to include some of the activities listed at the back of the book to get students involved.

  7. Retreat Focus

    Use the material at a Leadership Retreat. Focus on the  material you would like to use to bring change in your Church Board or Council meetings. For example; plan a 4-hour session on a Saturday to cover the decision making process in the book and discuss implementing it. Be sure to make this occasion a positive team building exercise with fun, music and a meal. Then at the end of the session by name an Implementation Team to plan next steps.

  8. Lead a Workshop on our Consensus-Based Decision-Making Process

    Read the book and provide a brief outline for leaders in your Judicatory or Church Council. Design a 20-minute PowerPoint presentation on the content on the process. Start with a “Values Clarification” Activity. Place words on a sheet that list possible values of your group. A sample of words may include: family, love, peace, honesty, organization, loyalty, growth, discernment, discipleship, Bible-based, community, respect, openness, patience, etc. Invite people to underline 5 words on the handout that they believe are important to them about the group. When this step is finished, invite participants to star 2 words that are really vital to them. Have them cross off one of the two words with stars and circle the remaining word.  Ask people what was the hardest word to give up. Then, ask for the word they feel is most important. Lead a discussion on how their method of making decisions respects their values as a faith community.

  9. Mentor and Guide another Person

    Think of a person in your ministry context that holds relational power to get things done. This person could be your Church Council Chair or someone else. Invite them to read the book. Plan a meeting with them to discuss what they have found helpful to use in your setting. Then discuss what it would take to apply the process in your context.

  10. Introduce Leaders to Elements of this Process

    People may be used to a basic parliamentary process of making amendments, suggesting substitutions and voting on ideas. They may not be aware that there is another, community-based way of making decisions. Introduce elements that are vital in consensus based discernment but that can be used in any system. For example, being sure to allow time to ask questions for clarification, find ways to help the less vocal people to contribute, set up methods for helping people to really listen to each other, encourage people to slow down and not rush to a decision, etc.

  11. Use the book at a “Clergy Day Apart”

    A powerful way to get Pastors interacting with a new process is in a collegial learning setting. Be sure to take the time to provide a basic overview of the book. Consider inviting 2 or 3 people to make a presentation on a specific topic or chapter. Encourage open and honest sharing of the positive responses and reservations about change. Allow time for participants to complete some of the activities at the back of the book and reflect on how they can use the process in their setting.

Conclusion

Once you have read the book and see it’s value – don’t stop there. Choose one of the ideas mentioned above to introduce the book’s content to your organisation. If you can, please order copies of the “The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together” from Cokesbury or Amazon. The small commission we receive helps us to maintain this site. Finally, post your experience on how you are using this book with us on this web site. We look forward to hearing from you.

 

Satisfied with How Your Church Makes Decisions?

How do you like to make decisions?

Imagine that you are in a church meeting facing a very important decision.  Got one in mind?  Perhaps you are considering adding staff, starting a new ministry, or even leaving the denomination.

Would you rather:

  1. Be personally involved in making the decision? OR Let a few key leaders decide the matter for you?
  2. Have a detailed, written proposal on the issue with clear consequences? OR Trust that details will get worked out later by someone?
  3. Have time to ask questions and talk with others to shape the best decision? OR Prefer to have a straight up and down vote and get it over with?
  4. Like to know the timetable to implement the decision and how the decision will impact others? OR “Wing it” and figure it out later?
  5. Take time to discern the will of God for your faith community? OR Finish the business meeting quickly and end the angst?

What are the options?

Did you answer “yes” the majority of the first choices? If so, the odds are high that you are not satisfied with a parliamentary style of making decisions. Unfortunately, that’s the only method most churches use to make decisions. Yet most people long for a better way. There is one!

A parliamentary style of making decisions comes from government processes. It was never designed to reflect the interests and practices of a faith community. Therefore, it does not immerse itself in the ‘means of grace’ like prayer, study and conferencing. It is a business model that tends to focus on the inital proposal brought before a group.

Problems with a parliamentary way of business

This approach:

  • limits information to 3 “speeches” for and against a motion
  • over simplifies issues by creating an artificial binary choice between “yes” and “no”
  • creates winners and losers by forcing the majority view on the minority
  • can be confusing when people try to amend or substitute motions
  • usually does not spend time in study, or small groups interaction
  • is not concerned about implementing the decision – just making it

Yes, this process can work when the situation warrants a simple, quick decision like the paint color in the Fellowship Hall, but it is not highly participatory or engaging except for the final vote. However, on important issues it is less than effective and can actually cause harm.

Benefits of a consensus approach

A consensus-based approach to making decisions is designed especially for a faith community. So it includes prayer, study and discussion. Also it is respectful of different viewpoints and considers creative options.

Further, it:

  • can involve the entire community and hear diverse viewpoints
  • lessens conflict by sharing information and practicing respectful listening
  • surfaces creative options for consideration and seeks common ground before a vote
  • “perfects” a proposal so it speaks for the whole community
  • allows people to ask questions and get clarification on complex matters
  • moves naturally to a decision point when people have felt heard

To learn more about the differences between a parliamentary model of making decisions and a faith-based model, I invite you to read our book:  The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together.  It details a consensus-based approach to use when making decisions.

I encourage you to move toward a consensus-based model to strengthen your faith community. This approach will allow it to deal well with hard challenges. Be the faith community God intends you to be.  Live out of your values. Use a decision-making process that expresses the Christian values of attending to God, respecting the people Christ has called into a community of discernment, is Spirit led and leads to discernment.

Leave your comments below to let us know what process you use to make decisions and how well it is working for you.  We welcome your feedback!

 

Teaching Your Church about Discernment

Decisions and Discernment – not always the same

Most leaders know how to make a decision.  Not so many know how to discern the will of God. Sadly in our churches we have assumed that making decisions in our meetings is the same thing as discernment.

Discernment is a process that allows a gathered faith community to seek and understand God’s will for a specific time and subject.  It actively engages people in prayer, study, reflection and Christian conferencing to accomplish this vital work together as disciples of Jesus Christ. These tools are different to the ones that are used to just “make a decision” in a meeting.

Teaching in your church about discernment

Here is an activity at your local Church Council or Board meeting to explain discernment to your leaders and generate a shared meaning.

  1.  Prepare a handout with various Bible passages about discernment on one side and an acrostic on discernment on the other side (see #2).  Suggested passages include:                                                                               Phillippians 1:9-10 – And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ.
    Romans 12:2 – And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
    Psalm 119:66 – Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments.

    Hebrews 4:12 –  For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Proverbs 3:1-6 – My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. John 7:24 – Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.    Proverbs 2:15  – My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

  2. Prepare a sheet of newsprint with the letters of the word “discernment” vertically.  Leave a space for responses.

D ______________________

I  ______________________

S  ______________________

C  ______________________

E  ______________________

R  ______________________

M  ______________________

E  _______________________

N  _______________________

T  ________________________

2.  Lead a Bible Study on the word “Discernent.”  Have participants take turns reading the selected Scripture.  After each reading, ask:  “what does this passage tell us about discernment?”

3.  Explain for every letter in the word “Discernment” they are to think of a word or phrase that explains what discernment means to them.

4.  Distribute handouts and pens to people. Provide a few examples:  ‘D’ stands for disciples or decision, ‘I’ means involvement; ‘R’ means reflection, etc.

5.  Provide 10 minutes for participants to complete their acrostic.

6.  Walk down the letters n the newsprint beginning with D and record people’s responses in the space provided.

7.  In concluding ask participants what they have learned about discernment.  Ask: “Does our way of making decisionss lead to discerning God’s will?””What changes could we make to move in this direction?”

Next Steps

At your next meeting return to the conversation about what changes are needed if your group is to move into a discernment mode of operation. Look closely at each part of your agenda and meeting procedures and make concrete decisions for change.

The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together includes a number of other strategies and conversation starters that you can use to foster discussions and learning about discernment.

Please share what you are doing to foster the practice of discernment in your church. We’d love to learn from you.