Category: Bringing about Change

Violence and disagreement

Violence as a response to disagreement

What’s wrong with this picture?!!

Apparently in US political discourse it is fine to point a gun to show that you don’t like something! A US Senator is running this advertisement. In it he shoots at a document that represents the views of his political opponents.

There are too many people who think that the way to oppose something is to be violent towards it. The symbolism in this advertisement says that this is OK. It doesn’t matter what your politics, or views on a subject, violence is always wrong!

It is both apalling and alarming that a sitting US Senator thinks that it is OK to use the symbolism of violence and death as a way to express dissent. There is no pleasure to see that 2,925 people love that post. That is thousands of people shouting their approval for shooting first and asking questions later (maybe skip the questions bit). Tragic, distressing and unacceptable.

Blessed are the Peacemakers (Matthew 5:9)

The children of God are peacemakers. The children of God

  • seek reconcilliation,
  • offer and seek forgiveness
  • strengthen the chords that bind
  • never lose sight of the fact that God loves those that we might want to hate
  • resist the  accepted norms of violence and oppression in society.

In churches around the world there are people who think it is OK to injure others, to lie about and demean their opponents, who cheat, harm and use their power to win battles over their opponents. Shame! Such people can never claim to be the children of God.

Violence and Consensus Building

It is the aggressive behaviour of people in the churches that is the greatest encouragement to finding a new way of making decisions. At the same time it is the violent / aggressive behaviour of opponents to consensus based discernment that is one of the greatest obstacles to its introduction.

Consensus based discernment is counter cultural in most places. To move to it in our churches calls for courageous leaders who denounce the abuse, intimidation and aggression that passes for “robust debate” in too many churches today.

The Senator’s advertisement seeks to make  a culture of violence normal, acceptable, to be expected. In too many churches the way disagreements are handled seeks to make  a culture of violence normal, acceptable, to be expected. We must stop making violence seem normal!

Prophetic courage is needed

It is time for all the peace-making children of God to stand up against violence in the church (and anywhere they see it). Speak a powerful word of hope that there is a better way to be in communnity around difficult conversations. Offer the vision of consensus building discernment as an alternative world view to the one that normalizes violence.

But be warned! Matthew 5:11 & 12 may happen to you if you are a prophet of hope. “Happy are you when people insult you and harass you and speak all kinds of bad and false things about you, all because of me. Be full of joy and be glad, because you have a great reward in heaven. In the same way, people harassed the prophets who came before you.”

Tips for a Chair of a Consensus Meeting

We’ve discussed the various parts of the consensus decision-making process. Now it’s time to provide tips for the chair of the meeting. Like other business meetings, there is a certain level of skill involved in completing consensus decision-making in your organization. There are specific skills you can learn to make the process go smoothly. The answer to “how” begins with a simple “yes” that you want to do this process well.

Considerations for a Well-Run Meeting

Here is a list of factors that will help you successfully Chair your next meeting using consensus decision-making:

  1.  Prepare: Most meetings get off to a poor start because the participants are confused about the details. Be sure your leaders know the time and place of the meeting. Provide an agenda in advance so people know what to expect. Also, provide a copy of the proposal to each person attending at least 7 days in advance of the meeting. Make sure that the rationale / reasoning/ aim of the proposal/ resolution is provided seperate from the proposal.
  2. Pray: Perhaps this sounds unnecessary to mention, yet it is important.  Pray for your facilitation of the meeting and for the people attending. Ask God’s guidance for the process.
  3. Room Arrangements: How the room is arranged is a key factor to the success of the meeting. The Chair should be seated at a place in the room where they can clearly see all participants.
  4.  Audio Support: People need to hear clearly what is being said in the meeting. If the group is large enough, you may need microphones for the chair and in key locations in the meeting space for participants.
  5. Visuals: In most meetings, it is helpful to have some type of projection of material. This is true of the actual proposal itself with the ability to edit the document in real time during the meeting.
  6. Presentation of the Proposal: As chair, you should help the presenter of the proposal to be prepared to share the background for the proposal as well as the actual wording before the meeting. They should be ready to place the proposal before the group in a succinct manner. You will need to get a second from someone in the group to move the proposal forward. It helps to have these people lined up in advance of the meeting so there are no surprises.
  7. Receiving Questions: Once the proposal is before the group, allow time for questions for clarification. Be alert! Sometimes people will nest a question in a revision. Or they will make a statement or speech with a question mark at the end! This is not the time for debate or to improve the document – it’s space to be sure that you understand the proposal and the impact it may have on your group. If someone raises a revision, call them out of order by gently asking them to bring that suggestion to the group at the appropriate time in the meeting.
  8. Teachable Moments: As chair, it is helpful to acknowledge where you are in the process and guide the group toward full participation. When someone does something not helpful to the process, invite them to wait until the process is open to their input. On those occasions when a participant asks a good question or does something to advance the process, call attention to it so people can gain confidence in how those things support the group.
  9. Deliberation: This is the real meat of the process. As Chair of the meeting, you will need to be on your toes during this section of the meeting. Invite the group to think about what they can support in the proposal or what would help them support the proposal. Sometimes asking people to ‘pair and share’ their responses to these questions with one another. This allows the introverts in the group an opportunity to participate on a deeper level. If you are working with a very large group, you may want to divide the participants into smaller groups to allow this conversation to happen. After you allow time for this interaction, call the group together and ask participants to share their revisions or suggestions to improve the proposal.
  10. Perfecting the Proposal: Once you move into the part of your meeting where people can make suggestions to revise the initial proposal it is important to have a scribe or recorder capture the comments so people can see them in real time. This could be done in Powerpoint, or on a sheet of newsprint. In large groups, have people submit their revision in writing.  Take your time and slow this part of the meeting to the pace that it is easy for people to stay current with the conversation. This prevents duplication of comments or getting stuck.
  11. Gaining Support: As Chair, it is crucial that you are able to guide the group toward full participation so everyone is heard. Sometimes, asking if there is a voice in the room or perspective that you have not heard yet is helpful.  Whenever you ask this question allow time for a response. Another way to read the group is with the use of colored cards. Have blue and orange cards cut to 5X7 (A5 or even larger) for each participant. Explain that blue means that you are cool to an idea or not ready to support the proposal. Orange denotes that you are warm to an idea expressed or ready to make a decision. Invite the group to use their cards whenever a person speaks in the deliberation phase. This provides you with a good idea of whether the group is working well with the material before them or even ready to make a decision.
  12. Ready for a Decision: At this point in the meeting, the proposal has been shaped by the wisdom in the group. It’s time to make a decision and there are many ways to do this. The easiest is to simply ask for a show of cards if all are orange – you have consensus! But if you are building consensus before a vote, then a show of hands in support of the proposal as well as a show of hands not supporting the proposl will work. Some groups will ask if anyone is standing outside of consensus on the matter to hear why they feel as they do. This provides one more chance to perfect the proposal.
  13. Acknowledging the Work: once the process has run its course and a decision has been made thank the presenter of the proposal as well as the participants for their dedication on completing the decision.

Conclusion

You will find over time that the consensus decision-making process gets shorter and easier for participants. Also, the results get more creative and easier to implement. Your role as the Chair of the meeting, makes this possible. Do everything in your power to run the meeting well and empower the group to make good decisions.

WMC Leaders Discuss Consensus

WMC leaders have been learning about consensus. What does consensus mean to cross-cultural leaders?  Terence Corkin and I offered a training session and experience of consensus decision-making at the recent World Methodist Council (WMC) in Seoul, South Korea.

This organization brings together church leaders from around the world that share a Methodist heritage.  Its Executive team (the Steering Committee) wanted to explore a more respectful method of making decisions than Robert’s Rules of Order because. The last Council meeting in Houston showed that there was room for improvement. Like most organizations considering the shift to consensus, they decided to introduce the process to members of the Council at their meeting to get their support.

I interviewed 2 delegates to get their perspective on the process.  Here are their observations on consensus:

Edgar De Jesus, USA

Edgar is from the Philipines and is currently the Pastor of Davis Street United Methodist Church in Burlington, North Carolina.  This congregation is becoming a cross-cultural fellowship. They host a successful feeding ministry every Sunday morning for the poor and marginalized.

On Using Consensus

“Consensus is a timely, respectful process of making decisions that is truly needed in today’s world.”

“It’s not a methodology – it is an invitation to join with God’s Spirit at work in the world.  It is a way of seeing things from a Kingdom perspective or what matters to God. Further, it goes back to our understanding of who we are as a church. Jesus modeled consensus (it’s part of our Christology). He engaged people through conversation around the issues they cared about with mutuality and respect.”

Today, the church continues to be a gathered community that seeks to deliberate and resolve issues in a respectful, creative manner. “Consensus attacks implicit bias, domination and manipulation of people. Our decision-making process should be counter-cultural and model a Christ-like way of working together. You can debate elsewhere – the church must discern the will of God and call upon the Christian community gathered to model a better way.”

Rev De Jesus continues, “consensus is not an end in itself – it’ a beginning.  We acknowledge that we can see Jesus in one another as we talk about the issues we care deeply about discussing. We believe that we are in this together so it helps me have a different take than ‘Robert’s Rules’ to make decisions with each other.”

Edgar believes that the best decisions are made in community after respectful listening and deliberation. “Using a consensus process to discern God’s will disrupts the status quo” he explains. “It turns things upside down so assumptions are brought into the light for examination.” Further, it levels the playing field to allow full participation of everyone – not just the powerful majority. “When this occurs, we make good decisions.”

On Organizations Making the Shift to Use Consensus

Rev. De Jesus believes that “receiving training and experiencing the process is very helpful. For the WMC, it’s a great start, but just as important is using the model in the future.  My hope is that it does not just stay at the top level of the organization but filters through other committees and plenary sessions to engage all of us as we minister in the world. Birthing this process at the WMC is an important step for this organization.”

Edgar believes that it is also vital to bring a consensus discernment process back to our local contexts and communities as an alternative model.

Amelia Meli Koh-Butler

Amelia is a minister in the Uniting Church in Australia. She is an expert in cross-cultural ministry who has held positions in the Synod of South Australia and the National Assembly.  Currently, Amelia is a University Chaplain.

On Why Consensus Matters

“My generation would rather leave an organization or not participate in Robert’s Rules of Order.  It breaks Christian community.”

Cross-Cultural People and Consensus

She shared the connection between consensus and the use of the Samoan Fine Mat. In this practice, “if you have offended someone, you go their house and sit outside under a grass mat spending time reflecting on what you have done to the other that has upset them and how you can restore the relationship.”

Being under the mat opens you to the Spirit. Under the mat, there is a sense of brokeness. We sit; we wait. This time continues until the other person or family comes out and lifts the mat off of you to restore your relationship once again. The truth is: we all long for restoration –  it is by mercy and grace that we are restored. “The grass mat is also a symbolic place where we sit around together to make conversation and connections that reach consensus. It is a practice of waiting on the wisdom of others to reach a good decision. “You must give up your individualism, says Amelia, for the sake of community.”

“In some parts of the world, we hear the words: “I want or I need…”  In Australia, we use the words:  “We hope… or we yearn…” Consensus places the value on what is best for everyone and is entered into with prayerful humility and patience. “It is more vested in the future than in the past.”

Amelia recognizes the many individuals who have held a safe space for her to be part of the Christian community and invite her to use her gifts and talents. She affirms the decision of the WMC Steering Committee to try a consensus model in its business deliberations. “It is a wonderful way to provide a respectful space for all people to participate and reach a decision.”  She observed that women and minorities tend to participate more in groups that use consensus to reach decisions rather than in those that use parliamentary procedures.

Lessons Learned by the WMC

People of various cultural backgrounds appreciate using consensus in groups. In fact, they prefer it as a method to make decisions in faith communities. They find it practical, respectful, and theologically relevant as a way to determine God’s will.

Read here what five other members of the WMC thought about  the consensus process training in Seoul.

Simple Steps to Break an Impasse

Have you ever been in the midst of making a decision and got stuck rather than moved forward? Often parties can discover a creative resolution to a problem by themselves. Sometimes, they reach an impasse where they cannot agree together on what to do.  A mediator or a neutral 3rd party can intervene and help to break the impasse.

Here are a few interventions which can break through an impasse

  •  Agree to stay in the process until a just resolution is found
  • Break the issue down into smaller parts and deal with the easiest first
  • Identify the goal (what do you both want to accomplish).
  • Consult an expert to supply needed facts or advice
  • Review the parties’ priorities and name common interests
  • Meet with the parties separately to explore a willingness to compromise
  • Try to get people to express what they originally expected the solution to be
  • Encourage people to acknowledge the other’s point of view and best hopes
  • Ensure the people want to end the conflict and ask for their help
  • Ask the parties to describe what the ideal solution would look like
  • As you and the others share what is important to you, you should be able to start identifying common areas and action steps
  • Focus on how the solution would affect an involved third party
  • Compliment the parties for reaching earlier points of agreement and est their willingness to compromise
  • Name the consequences of not working together
  •  Wisely use silence and questions about feelings
  • Look for points of agreement or mutual needs. Respect is something both parties usually want and is a good place to start if you are both stuck.
  • State what both parties have to lose
  • Identify the real problem or issue. Uncover the “real” issues or needs.
  • Meet in a relaxed environment with refreshments
  •  Ask open-ended questions. “How can we resolve this?”
  • Call a timeout and give a homework assignment for them to complete
  • Brainstorm options and tell them which alternative is closest to their need
  • Pray (not Prey) for each other
  • Avoid using words like, “ought” or “should.” Those are blaming words and make people defensive.
  • Look at examples of how others in a similar situation have reached a resolution
  • Work with one of the parties to break the impasse while in the company of the other

What other techniques would you add to the list?

Working through an impasse well is possible. Often, people will follow your leadership in reaching a creative solution to the challenges they face if they know that you have their best interest at heart.

How deep is your root system?

A good root system – the key to health!

The largest living organism in the world is a quaking aspen tree known as the “Trembling Giant”. This single tree has over 47,000 stems, covers 106 acres, is 80,000 years old and weighs 13 million pounds. Impressive, eh?How has this tree survived through drought, forest fires, and pests over its long life span? It has an extensive root system that nourishes and protects the plant. Churches can also be fragile or resilient. It all depends on how strong  their root system is.

Take this short quiz to learn how firm your church’s foundation really is. Below are four qualities of a strong root system (Values, Behavior, Means of Grace, and Mission). These things are enduring. Circle the number beside each heading: 5 is high; 1 is low.

Values      1      2      3      4      5

Values are the qualities that guide your actions. It’s what sets you apart as a congregation. Usually, it’s how members describe their church. “We are a loving church”, or “We care about social justice”. You can also assess your values by how you spend money and what you plan ministry around.

Churches that have deeply held values live out of those convictions. They nourish your organization like strong roots. It is vital that members know what they are. They are in the songs we sing and the prayers we pray.

Behavior  1      2      3      4      5

Actions speak louder than words. When people treat each other with love and respect it’s noticeable. Congregations that take this seriously have a written Behavioral Covenant or Guideline. It is designed and signed by members as a way of being accountable to each other and working out differences. This Covenant is displayed where members can see it and consult it regularly. Some of the items on this guideline may include listening respectfully, being compassionate to others, etc. Healthy ways of relating to one another resemble deeply woven roots.

Means of Grace    1      2      3      4      5

John Wesley talked about God’s grace and how it strengths our faith walk.  He said that there are 2 ‘Means of Grace’: Acts of Vital Piety (worship, prayer, singing hymns, sacraments, Christian conferencing), and Acts of Compassion and Mercy (Matthew 25 ministries of meeting the real-life needs of others and working for the common good). When these practices are taken seriously they become the lifeline of life together in a congregation just as good roots make for a healthy plant. They are the basis of ministry. Primetime, not pass time, activity.

Mission      1      2      3      4     5

When we are clear about our purpose, people make good decisions and align their life together to be successful at reaching it. Congregations that have worked out their purpose statement know why they exist and prioritize activities to move them closer to this goal. A mission statement should be a brief (no more than 12 words) description of who you are. Members should have it memorized and use it to evaluate how well they are doing as a church.

How did you do?

Add up your scores and compare it to the numbers below:

15 – 20          Well done!

9  – 14           Not bad!

Under 9       Room for improvement!

As you review your responses:

A.  What area does your congregation do well?

B.   What area can it do better?

C.  Name a specific way you can boost your congregation’s root system.