Category: culture

Cross-Cultural Sensitivity

We often take for granted culture, question established practices, and make assumptions from our own particular world view. This rarely supports the strong respect necessary to help others with diverse backgrounds work productively on the issues and challenges we all face.

Today, the church is not only a multi-cultural body of Christ- it also serves a globally diverse world with a myriad of cultures. Today, an ability to reach across the cultures to offer Christ and make Christ known is an essential gift that church members can share if they are culturally savvy.

The neighborhood where I grew up was a place of white faces that came from Italy, Germany, Poland or Ireland. This was reflected in the various languages spoken and the wonderful food we shared.  I recognized from a very early age that people came from different places and did things differently.  Yet, we had one thing in common:  a desire to respectfully work together.  To understand one another and be understood. This was especially true at church where we sat on committees or worked on projects side by side. One example of this happening was the various cultures that came together to build the new church building – side by side.  There were many successful fundraisers:  Polish Sausage sandwiches, Spaghetti Diners, Saurerkraut sales, and of course, St. Patrick’s Day Irish Corned Beef.

Today,  that same neighborhood and church are full of a greater variety of cultures:  European, Asian, African, and Hispanic.  There are various holidays and festivals that bring people together.  But the road has not always been easy!

Each culture has it’s own styles of communicating, making decisions, and resolving conflict.  Gone are the days (if they ever existed), that there is one way to do things.

Perhaps you have been asked to mediate a conflict in a Korean congregation or work with a Hispanic fellowship to establish a new worship center in your community. What can you do if you find yourself working cross-culturally?

Here are some practical steps to improve your CQ (Cultural Competency):

Establish Trust

    • Convey your desire to be culturally sensitive early on the process.
    • Be clear about why you are there and what you need from the group to complete the work requested, as well as naming what you have to offer to the process.
    • Acknowledge that you are aware that you have much to learn from the other group(s).
    • Focus on the shared task ahead.  Form community: hard to create – even harder to sustain.
    • Be sure to seek feedback when you see people behaving in ways that are puzzling to you.
    • Remember people care about what you know when they know that you care about them.
    • Be vulnerable.  When you do not know something or an issue is beyond your expertise, name it.
    • Discover who some of the key shareholders are in the group and go to them to ask for their support to accomplish the task that you were given. Ask them what you need to know about the group’s culture that would help them accept you and make you a better contributor.
    • Bottom line:  learn the culture you are working with (customs, ways of making decisions, even some keywords or phrases).

Get to know members of the other group

    • Take the time to listen to people’s stories and experiences.  I often ask people to share pictures of important people or celebrations in their life with me as a way to introduce ourselves. I then do the same.
    • Encourage people from the other culture to use their skills for the welfare of the entire group and the shared goals.
    • Foster healthy, strong relationships among members of the group.  Take time for team building.
    • Establish good bonds with participants that will help you be effective in working with the group
    • Don’t generalize.
    • Try not to intervene too quickly when people are on opposite sides of an issue or decision.  Ask guiding questions to surface common ground.

Form a team of Culturally Inclusive Leaders

    • This is a team of people from the group who can help you work through your process (lead listening sessions for you, remind people of meetings and assignments, lead Devotions or times of Centering, etc.
    • Invite this Team to generate communications and be part of a feedback loop.
    • Demonstrates an ability to work with and appreciate others cross-culturally.
    • Embrace diversity.  Give a little to the others on a team to accomplish and accept their way of getting the job done even if it is a method you have not used in the past.  Be sure to stay in the loop and monitor how the work gets done.
    • Encourage!

Promote Open, Honest Communication

    • Keep instructions simple and ask for clarity when necessary
    • Have an interpreter present especially if you are working with 1st generation immigrants or members of the culture who do not speak English well.
    • Request that the group be direct and speak to others not about them.  No triangulation.
    • Avoid slang and jargon. Literal interpretations are often misunderstood.
    • Learn to respect silence. It means respect in several cultures because it demonstrates a willingness to listen.  Be patient when asking questions or providing choices.
    • Don’t accept myths about the other culture
    • Resolution skills practiced should always give the work back to the people.  This brings an increased awareness of how members can best resolve conflict in the future.
    • Put things in writing.  Ensure that they are distributed to the right people and at the same time if possible.
    • Adapt customs of the culture you are working with into the process you have designed.  For example, when I am working with a group from the South Pacific Islands I frequently convene a Soamoan Listening Circle to surface thoughts and feelings. It works!

Set a clear, compelling direction

    • Explain the process clearly and invite questions for clarity.
    • Be sure that participants understand why you are there and what the end product is of the work.
    • Involve every participant in the process. Let them know that every person is essential to completing the task before them whether it is assessing a Pastor, moving to a new location, resolving conflict, etc.
    • Stay focused on your goals.
    • Evaluate progress by the steps you have taken to facilitate the group dealing with their issues, make good decisions, or resolve conflict.
    • Don’t take slow-downs personally. Listen to the stories and be patient.  This is one way a culture communicates its values and boundaries.

Explore Differences Within the Group

    • Treat others as they want to be treated.
    • Acknowledge the “fault lines” present in the group by naming the distinctions within the group. They may be generational, gender, language, place of birth, etc.
    • Know what motivates participants.  Why should they work with you?  What do you add that they can do themselves?
    • Manage friction with sensitivity.

Create clear rules of engagement and maintain them

    • Incorporate practices from various cultures. Examples include using a talking piece when speaking in the group, or sitting in a circle to hear the wisdom of the elders.
    • Establish norms for behavior.  I am a firm behavior in establishing a covenant with a group on how they want to be treated and treat others.
    • Stick with established guidelines so you do not get off track.
    • Be polite yet firm when someone acts outside of Covenant.  Re-invite the person to stand inside the Covenant or let them remove themselves from the work.

Resolve Conflict Quickly

    • When you observe tension in the group deal with it swiftly.  Don’t let it fester.
    • Use the cultural perspectives of the group to serve as a cultural bridge.  For example, in Asian cultures, you do not cause another person to lose face (be embarrassed in pubic).

Benefits of Working Cross-Culturally

Why do all this work?  Why develop sensitivity and appreciation of working with various cultures beyond your own?

There are many benefits:

    1. The ability to plan and adapt your work for various audiences leads to a stronger process and greater effectiveness professionally.
    2. Other people bring cultural insights that you will find helpful even when working with your own culture.  I have learned many tools from cross-cultural work that are fun and engaging.
    3. Being collegial across cultural lines improves relationships and expands your network. I have discovered that despite cultural differences there is a common core that remains the same among humans:  love, care, respect, encouragement, etc.
    4. The more culturally diverse the group is, the greater the array of options generated. You get a better solution that people can live with later.
    5. Because the world is growing more diverse, I find myself curious when encountering cultural distinctions. I am better for each encounter.

One of the most important things that you can do is to be a lifelong learner of working with others cross-culturally.  A great resource offered by the Evangelical Lutherans in the USA is a short workbook: http://download.elca.org/ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/Talking_Together_As_Christians_Cross_Culturally_A_Field_Guide.pdf

Conclusion

Perhaps it is easier to work with people just like you yet the world is so diverse and exciting for the many people who live in this world.  The odds of you encountering people from a different culture are more likely today than ever before. These encounters are not to be feared but embraced. Our challenge is to be aware of our cultural bias and blindspots.

As a church consultant, I welcome the opportunity to share my skills and abilities with others regardless of culture.  It’s not a barrier to me because I have learned how to be culturally sensitive and recognize that I have even further to go.

The Gospel is intended for all people regardless of where they were born or the language they speak.  Wasn’t it Paul who once said that in Christ there is no black or white, East or West, male or female…?  The Apostle was talking about surface things that tend to divide us when in fact they are strengths that can unite us.

Perhaps the task of cross-cultural conversation and work may be to discern and develop effective ways to talk and work together.  To do this, we must own our own culture and biases and be willing to embrace another’s culture with curiosity and respect.

Cross-cultural sensitivity doesn’t just happen. It is challenging and hard works yet it is possible to do.  What’s your CQ?

I hope you found this article helpful.  Drop me a line and let me know your cross-cultural learnings that help shape your ministry. I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

Healthy Church Idea – Show Appreciation!

Healthy churches don’t just happen. Healthy churches are grown, nurtured and expected!! As part of an occasional series, here is an idea for nurturing a healthy church.

Every member of a congregation deserves to know that they are appreciated for the contributions they make to the overall well-being of the organization.  Let’s be honest:  we depend on the volunteers who organize events, make phone calls, and give generously of their time and talents in so many ways.

So why do many churches report that they fail to say:  Thank you?

A healthy congregation recognizes the time and talents of its members. Yet for many, to single people out for their unique gifts and service seems foreign.  After all, it’s a part of being a member.  Right?  Wrong!

It isn’t that people need praise, yet many suggest that they do not feel appreciated.  Is there a way to recognize people for the wonderful ways that they participate in the church without seeming competitive?

The Bible suggests in many places that we should do all we can to build one another up in Christian love and good deeds.  Further, Christians are given spiritual gifts for the building up of the body of Christ.  Recognizing good deeds and service is a way to honour God and God’s church.

So, how can we best do this?

Here are a few suggestions intended to get you thinking about various ways we can honour one another:

GLAD Gifts

GLAD stands for Generously Leading and Discipling. During Advent, one congregation asks members to name a gift that they would like to give the church in the coming year.  This gift should be a talent that they would like to give the congregation.  Examples of responses include teaching a children’s Sunday School Class or volunteering to be a youth worker with troubled teens.  You get the idea, each youth and an adult in the church is encouraged to make a commitment to foster the community of faith in a specific way.

At Pentecost,  the church holds a huge party to recognize the birthday of the church.  There is a meal where members are encouraged to sit at a table with others who share their birth month.  After the meal, the church recognizes 3-5 people who especially made a contribution during the year to the life and mission of the church. They state the contribution, the difference is has made and announce the person’s name.

Imagine the surprise on people’s faces to realize that their time and talent has been appreciated!

ANGELS Award

Another way to recognize the time and talents of people in your congregation is to give an “Angels Award” each month or once a quarter. ANGELS stands for Anyone who Never Complains and Gives Enthusiastically through Loving Service.

First, the church formed an ANGELS Award Committee of 3 people. Their task is to receive nominations from the congregation on deserving individuals who serve as angels through the time and talent that they give to the congregation’s ministry.

Members of the church are encouraged to think of people each month who represent the best angels.  They simply write a note to the committee giving the name of the person and what they do that deserves appreciation.  Next, the Committee meets to prayerfully read the nominations and decides on who to recognize.  The Award is then given out during the Worship Service on the second Sunday.

A member reads the contribution, then announces the person’s name.  They are then invited to come forward where they receive a small angel pin from the previous month’s recipient as the congregation expresses their appreciation. Everyone smiles!

I have seen really difficult people recognized in this manner who then turnaround and live out of a true spirit of generosity and humility. Over time, this award has changed the fibre of the faith community into a more thankful group.  In addition, they have noticed that people are more likely to step forward and volunteer – not because they received a small pin, but because the congregation appreciates the time and talent that members.

Over time, every member of the church was recognized. What they did next was astounding:  they recognized people in the wider community around them by inviting them to worship and recognizing their unique contributions.  The Mayor, Fire Chief, City Planner, a Doctor who organized a free clinic, and a High School teacher that began a Saturday meal program for teens in poverty received the appreciation of this church.

Volunteer Appreciation Dinner

How can you show appreciation to members without singling people out for an award?  Easy:  throw a party!  Appreciate people’s participation in the ministry of the church by hosting a catered meal once a year and inviting people who serve in leadership, organize programs, etc.

Simply mail out an invitation to the dinner to the people you wish to thank for their service announcing the time, place and time.  Decorate the tables and room to make the event celebratory.  Have someone give a presentation about the importance of being thankful or using one’s gifts to the glory of God.  Serve a special dessert afterwards and thank people for the wonderful way they support God’s work in the congregation and community.

Why is showing appreciation important?

Hebrews 10 tells us that we must spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Not failing to do so, but using every opportunity to encourage and work well together.

A healthy church does this task seriously.  It decreases conflict and tension in the organization.  How well do you express your appreciation in your church?

 

 

Resilience in a Congregation – 5 signs

Resilience testers for a congregation

Sooner or later all congregations experience challenges. These challenges are often caused by different factors. Whatever the cause they can test our confidence that we can deal with them wisely. Our resilience can be tested!!

Perhaps your congregation has experienced one of these difficult situations:

  • Shifting realities force a decision between 2 choices such as moving forward in a new direction for ministry or returning to the ways of the past.
  • Dealing with differing views between 2 or more strong-willed individuals that often results in an escalating conflict.
  • Having a storm or freak act of nature destroy your church building and then having to work through grief in order to rebuild.
  • Losing a beloved Pastor who has led your congregation for many years, perhaps through death or moving to a new placement.
  • Realizing that your congregation is losing members and becoming smaller each year but you don’t know what to do about it.

How these situations are handled can test the resiliency of a congregation. They are an indicator of their ability to bounce back stronger.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability of an organization to overcome challenges (hard choices, trauma, tragedy, crises, or simply life’s problems), and come through them stronger, wiser, and even more powerful. The ability to bounce back and make repairs after being stretched, compressed or almost destroyed is the hallmark of a resilient group.

Indicators of Resilience

Here are 5 signs that your group is resilient. Each of these signs describes the very heart and soul of your organization. These characteristics can be developed intentionally. However, they cannot be ignored if you are serious about the wellbeing of your congregation or group.

 1.  A Clear, Compelling Vision

When a congregation knows where it is headed and what is important to their very life and mission, there is energy and purpose. A clear vision draws people together. It points to the future that God intends for them. It fosters a commitment to meet God in the days to come in fresh, renewing methods that brings life.

In my work with congregations, I am often amazed at how many do not understand what pulls them together into the next stage of their ministry. Often, these congregations rely on things that they have done in the past. It is as though the world around them has not changed.

Sadly, there are congregations out there that act as if they wake up tomorrow and it’s 1950 – they are ready to reach that world! Sounds silly, right? Yet these congregations are putting a sincere effort into reaching a world that is no longer there. Why? Because the world is changing.

A good vision is based firmly in the reality of where you are located. Your context. When was the last time you looked at the demographics of your community to understand who lives near you? Do you honestly know what the needs of those groups are? Do you offer ministries that meet those needs? Are you proactive in offering new ways to disciple children, youth and adults or stuck in the methods that have worked in the past?

I once attended a church that wanted to offer a Vacation Bible School (VBS) in the summer for children in their community. (They had not offered this program in 15 years!) I watched them plan an event from 9 a.m. to noon that would last a week. Fliers were put out in the community gathering spots to advertise the theme and times. An excellent curriculum was chosen, teachers were trained, and finally, they were ready.  Imagine how disappointed they were on the first day when only 7 children attended (and, they were grandchildren of the staff!)

What happened?

Would you believe the parents in that community worked during the day? So, they had enrolled their young children in daycare near where they were employed. In many households, both adults worked. A month after the VBS, we held a listening circle with some of these parents. There we learned that they would have attended an evening program or one held on a Saturday. Energy and resources were squandered just because they did not know who they were trying to reach! Resilience is being able to come back from that first disappointment!

2.  A Curious Sense of Humor

It’s true: a group that can laugh together has the attitude to weather all sorts of storms. Yes, life happens. People make mistakes. Yet, the power to be curious and look honestly at oneself offers a buoyancy that can help you rise above life’s challenges.

I have witnessed groups over the years get so tied up in a situation that they can not see God active in the midst of the situation. This robs them of the joy to weather life’s storms.

Having a sense of humour is not the same as laughing at everything or one another. The humour I look for in a group is the joy that explains their outlook: we’re on an adventure together seeking to follow God faithfully! There will be dips and bumps on the road but we will get through them together because we trust God.

3.  A Learning Heart

Yes, there are Pastors and Church staff out there that are well trained.  However, most of their education stopped with their ordination or initial employment.

Resilient leaders are curious to discover what works today to reach people for Christ. Therefore, they attend training, read books, or advance their continuing education with a mentor or coach. Specifically, they are able to empathize with visitors and newcomers. They can place themselves in their shoes to experience what the church feels like for others.

They assess ministry. Evaluate. Improve.

I know a Pastor who is retiring early because she no longer understands how to reach the people in her community. She truly thought that she learned everything she would ever need to know for her career at Seminary. Sadly, she stopped being curious about new methods to successfully make disciples.  For her, considering new options disrespected the past.

I get it: you may be thinking that there are tried and true ways of doing things and you simply don’t mess with these methods. Right? Wrong! We must remember that in changing environments like today, the leaders who excel are those who consider options wisely without feeling that they are disrespecting the past if they adjust.

In church seminars, I often talk about the things that endure in ministry:  our mission, values, and guiding principles/theology. These things never change – they are our backbone. Then I explain that there are also things that can change so the organization can endure with effectiveness: vision, goals and methods. These are our muscles to stretch and grow. Resilience comes from understanding what to hold on to and what to let go.

Congregations that have a curious heart for learning know how to honestly assess how well they are doing with their plans and make the necessary adjustments to stay on track. They spend time in meetings asking the vital question: did we accomplish our goals? What are we learning?

4.  A Forgiving Nature

Having the humility to acknowledge that we are only human and make mistakes is essential for resilient organizations. These groups understand that they are loved by God while acknowledging there is room for improvement.

In pastoral workshops, I often give participants a clean QTIP and tell them to “quit taking it personally” (QTIP). There are leaders who take criticism personally and beat themselves up over things that must be put in perspective. While I take ministry seriously, I stopped taking it personally a long time ago because I realized that I was not the Messiah. Further, that risen saviour reconciles me with God (warts and all).

I grow concerned when I work with a congregation that is really being rough on their leaders. Harsh words, disrespectful behaviour, and alienation reign in churches that do not show resilience. They actually foster competition for resources and demean innovation. Sound familiar?

The first step in turning this situation around is being authentic and saying: “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake. Doing this and asking for forgiveness is essential. Leaders that can do this with integrity also go one step further: they love people for who they are and not for what they can do for you. They are able to be compassionate and caring no matter what.

Do you have a forgiving nature?

5.  Living into God’s Blessings

This characteristic is simply the icing on the resilient cake. Whenever I find myself in difficult situations I count my blessings. Hopefully, this doesn’t sound corny to you. I sincerely get a piece of paper and write down all the good things that I see in the midst of crisis or challenge.

Resilient congregations frequently do an audit of their blessings in the midst of difficult situations. Therefore they list the many blessings that God has given them. It is an amazing act of faith in the midst of life’s challenges.

God embeds within each of us spiritual gifts and the fruit of the spirit that carries us through whatever we face. So, when I realize that I am blessed by God I’m able to face any situation. This carries me through difficulties with grace. I find that I often make my best choices and am even able to celebrate God’s goodness with dignity.

So it is with congregations showing resilience. They are able to take stock of the many assets that will get them beyond stressful times toward a new, brighter future.

This means that instead of trying to compete with a church down the street and copy their ministry, they discern a way to be faithful based on what they have to offer. However, resilient congregations are like treasure chests filled with God’s grace. Treasure is intended not to hoard unto themselves but to give away to a hurting world.

Be a blessing to others by generously giving of yourself to connect people to God in fresh ways (yes, even if it means to change!)

Conclusion

So, how resilient are you? After reading about the 5 factors that lead to a resilient organization, which characteristics do you practice well?  Where is there room for improvement?

At makingchurchdecisions.com we are available to coach leaders toward increasing their resilience factor.  Drop us an email and we can discuss coaching options that are affordable and accessible.

Values Trump Facts – Is Consensus-Building Possible?!?

Is there hope for consensus-building when the facts don’t overcome existing values / biases? According to some the answer is “NO!!!” I’m not so sure. Here’s why.

Why don’t facts seem to matter any more?

On May 8th, 2019 David Barker and Morgan  Marietta wrote a piece in Niemanlab. In the article they explored  the impact of the Mueller Report on US public opinion about the President of the USA. Mueller’s investigation into the Trump election campaign and the Russians found no collusion but  areas where there may have been an obstruction of justice by the President.
These two eminent political scientists concluded that the Mueller Report did not move the needle for the vast majority of people in the USA with respect to their attitude to the President. If people already thought that the President was engaged in illegal activities they were confirmed in that view. If they thought the President was innocent then Mueller confirmed it for them.

Values count more than the data

Why does this happen? According to Barker and Marietta it comes down to this. “We found that voters see the world in ways that reinforce their values and identities. If they start with a particular set of values then everything they receive by way of information is interpreted as support of those values. In such a context “fact checking” or hearing “the other side’s point of view” has no impact on changing the mind of people.”
An interesting illustration of this phenomenon is the attitude of Americans about whether there is racism in the USA. Quoting from the article: “… according to our data from five years of national surveys from 2013 to 2017, the most important predictor of whether a person views racism as highly prevalent and influential is not her partisan identification. It is not her general ideological outlook. It is not the amount or type of media that she consumes. It isn’t even her own race. It is the degree to which she prioritizes compassion as a public virtue, relative to other things like rugged individualism.”

What does this mean for consensus-building?

The pessimistic view of the authors is that “Perhaps the most disappointing finding from our studies … is that there are no known fixes to this problem.” Well that’s all a bit disheartening!!! I disagree with them.

The first things that it means for a consensus-building approach are not to try and ram “the facts” down a person’s throat; and secondly do not be disparaging of others as bigots and closed minded.

Findings like those is this article are greatly encouraging to the people who understand consensus based discernment or decision-making. Why? Because it affirms how important it is to get behind the presenting words and feelings. It compels us to look past the first things that people say, and instead attempt to understand what is important to them. Consensus-building processes know that people act out of their values – fears, hopes, identity, world view. These processes want to hear about these things from people. Consensus-building processes take values and identity seriously and respect them.

Where values differ these need to be explored. However, it is a much richer and respectful conversation if we invite others to tell us what is important to them. This is a much healthier and more constructive approach than seeking to persuade them about “the facts”.

The great failure of the parliamentary style of debate and decision-making is that it gets into this world of duelling facts. Then when the debate is over and the vote is taken there is a decision. But in the world we live in today the divisions remain because the values have not changed.

What can be done?

Here are some attitudes and strategies that can be used in a consensus-building context to help avoid the stalemate that comes when facts reinforce values.

  • Get the agreed facts out on the table (even the ones that you don’t like!)
  • Ask people what they conclude from / make of this information.
  • Take a step back and find a way to talk about our values or the things that shape what is important for us. In the church this can include significant faith stories.
  • Speak about our understanding of God and God’s hope for the world.
  • Seek out common values and affirm the common ground. Note that people have many values and some will have precedence at different times. Some we may disagree with, yet many we will share.
  • Explore, with respect and humility, how the options / actions that we are discussing support our shared values.

Optimism can be found for the Christian community in that when we go deep enough we do have a common narrative /vision / hope. Many societies can find this common ground too – if they are prepared to work to find it.

However the great advantage that Christians have is that they have at their foundation the community that God has created through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This common ground is not their choice it is the will of God and our responsibility is to live into that reality. As the Apostle Paul noted there is one faith, one Lord one baptism – one God and Father of us all (Ephesians 4: 5,6).

Conclusion

Of course we have to deal with reality. There are not really ‘alternative facts”.

However we need to understand that it is our values that give meaning to the things that we see. If we are going to get past “duelling facts” and name calling them we have to explore values.  Consensus building processes understand this. They foster this deeper and respectful engagement, and provide the tools for discovering shared hopes and then actions.

UMC Needs a New Way

What next for the UMC?

The UMC (United Methodist Church) is clearly at a crossroad. The decision by the General Conference in February to maintain the rejection of LGBTIQ+ people from Ministry in the Church, strengthen penalties for clergy that do same gender weddings and other decisions has ignited a firestorm in the denomination. 69% of the US delegates favoured allowing local churches to decide their own position (“The One Church Model”) but the overseas delegates strongly supported the “Traditional Plan”.

That the UMC cannot continue as it is should be clear to everyone. I am not arrogant enough to tell members of another church which turn they should take at a time like this. Nevertheless, there is one very strong piece of advice that I am prepared to offer.

Even as a long distance observer of the UMC, it is clear that there is a lot of anger and aggression being expressed towards people who hold different views on the future for the church. This combative, disrespectful and self-absorbed way of interacting must come to an end! There are lessons here for all churches!!

What does a new way look like?

There is much discussion across the church about whether there will be two, three or more fragments left from the UMC as it stands today. Some still hope for one church but this seems less and less likely. I have no comment to offer on the structural arrangements that should come to pass for the UMC. However, I am very clear that what needs to change is the way that people relate to each other.

The new way for the UMC has to be one where people genuinely listen to each other. A way where they seek to work together in discerning the will of Christ for his church. The new way must include respect and appreciation for people who hold different positions to us.

Rev Adam Hamilton is offering great leadership as he and others try to foster healthy and constructive conversations about what to do in response to the decision of General Conference in February. He is encouraging Methodists who understand that it is possible to live together with major differences and to work together on finding a solution. Of particular interest to me is that he is speaking about building a consensus across the church. There will be a major meeting in May. People who can envisage living in the same church as people who have different opinions will come together. In all their diversity they will seek to discern what the future may look like for the UMC.

I would love to be an observer at that meeting in May! I’d like to see how they engage in a consensus building approach. This may be the first time in the history of the UMC that a serious consensus-building approach has been attempted. This has to be the new way for the UMC.

2016 General Conference – a lost opportunity

When the General Conference met in Portland in 2016 it had available to it a consensus-building approach to discernment. I was contracted to develop the alternative Rule, prepare meeting resources and provide training and resources for using the process. Along with my colleague, Julia Kuhn Wallace I hoped that the delegates would experience another way of exploring difficult issues. For reasons that I will not go into here, the Rule was not adopted. As a result, the legalistic, argumentative, power-driven approach of the Parliamentary process continued in use. The outcome was the Bishop’s Special Commission and the 2019 Called General Conference.

How is it a surprise that the UMC found itself in the same belligerent and hurtful situation again in 2019 as it did in 2016? Why should people expect that having engaged in this process using aggressive parliamentary rules that now it is possible for people to turn off the aggression? The UMC is reaping what it has sown because in its meeting procedures it has encouraged disrespect, power plays and a winner take all mentality.

The alternative Rule in 2016 would have provided delegates, and other members of the UMC, a chance to experience another way of being in community around difficult issues. Not taking that direction was a lost opportunity.

Lessons for the new UMC / churches

I know that there will be many people who think that “if we can only get rid of all those people who think differently to us then it will be fine.” There are Conferences and Jurisdictions that are ready to reject the 2019 decisions and be affirming of LGBTQI+ people in the church. But do not think that this alone will get you where you need to go. The new “gatherings” of UMC people need a new way of making decisions.

There is no doubt that using Robert’s Rules of Order has been a major driver for why the UMC finds itself where it is today. If new groupings that want to be inclusive and respectful of each other continue to use parliamentary styles of decision-making then they will end up with broken relationships, alienated members and intractable conflict.

If new groups form around principles of respect and inclusion then they need to develop decision-making processes that are consistent with these values. Consensus-based discernment processes will be critical in the next phase for the successor groups to the UMC. The churches and Jurisdictions that are opposed to the Traditional Plan will need to invest in developing alternative business procedures. These resources are available and can be implemented when there is a will and a deliberate approach to doing so. Please do not think that you can change the culture of any new church(es) without making major changes to the way in which you engage in discernment!

Conclusion

If we are going to have healthy relationships we need to build capacity in the people and establish healthy ways of interacting. Churches need to establish a culture that gives the best chance of expressing Christian values. Robert’s Rules of Order are the opposite of what churches should be doing! Consensus processes better reflect and support Christian values.

The UMC is experiencing a huge crisis and we should all be praying for them. My encouragement is that any new way for the United Methodist Church does not just deal with the symptoms but also the causes. The causes include the way in which Christian relationships have been defined and structured – parliamentary business procedures included. Dealing with the causes by changing the way people meet and decide issues will lay the foundation for healthy and effective churches into the future.