Category: Theory

Cricket and Consensus

What on earth does cricket have to do with consensus?!? In many parts of the world they share a common reputation as being minority activities, that are confusing and take way too long to complete. By way of reputation cricket and consensus have a lot in common in the USA, South America, parts of Asia and Europe.

“Popular” sports aren’t popular everywhere

I’m asking all you people from countries that don’t understand cricket to show a little humility here. Cricket is consistently judged as one of the most popular sports in the world (#2 actually) with a fan base of about 2.5 billion. In Australia alone over 1.4 million people play cricket on a regular basis. That’s about 5% of the country’s population! I guess that it is possible that a sport that is strange to some makes perfect sense to others and is something that they value a great deal.

Consensus based decision making is unfamiliar to many people around the world. Sadly, some think that because it isn’t popular in their country that somehow it isn’t popular elsewhere. However that is far from true. Consensus based decision making is incredibly popular in a lot of cultures and groups around the world. I encourage people from societies that are far more combative in their business meetings to take pause and not negatively judge consensus discernment just because it is unfamiliar.

Just because something is strange or unfamiliar to us doesn’t mean that other people find it wierd.

Cricket and consensus are different to their peers

If you are not familiar with cricket then it can certainly take a while to understand the rules. Once you understand the rules, it can take longer to understand the field placings and the strategies of the teams. Certainly there is no other sport that in any way looks like cricket. But that doesn’t make it wrong.

Baseball, a less popular game than cricket, has its rules. It has some similarities with cricket – people on a field, a bat and ball, places to run, etc. Comparing baseball and cricket has been likened to comparing checkers (drafts) to chess. There are some familiar elements in the two games but they are as different as chalk and cheese.

So it is with parliamentary procedures and consensus discernment. They both involve people in a room, talking with each other and trying to come to a decision. But after that they start to lose their similarity! If we are going to make consensus discernment work then we have to accept that it has different rules.

A big mistake that some adopters of consensus make is trying to keep too many of the rules from the old game. Rather, you should learn the new rules of the new game. Yes it can take a bit of time but you just have to do it. Afterall it’s a different game.

Consensus and cricket are complicated

A major objection to introducing consensus discernment is that it is very hard to understand. The argument goes that its rules are complicated and hard to explain. There is another thing that consensus and cricket have in common – bad press about how complicated the rules are. For the record there are 42 laws of cricket. The rules of baseball don’t look any easier to me!

I don’t know how anyone can say that Roberts Rules of Order are easy to follow. In many regional and international meetings there is a “Parliamentarian” appointed to provide guidance on the rules to the Chairperson of the meeting.

If a meeting process is so complicated that you need a specialist to interpret the rules then that is a very complex set of rules. In contrast I have never seen a consensus discernment process that needs an expert to provide rulings for the Chairperson. Sure, when a system is new there may be a mentor to help. However once it becomes familiar there is no need for a consensus process adjudicator on the stage. The reason for this is that the rules are really simple – work together to find a solution!

Conclusion

As the cricket season gets underway in the Southern Hemisphere I am looking forward to a summer of long (five day / 30 hours) and short (3 hour) versions of cricket. Many of you will think it is a novelty, strange and complicated. It isn’t if you come from the sub continent, Australasia, South Africa or England!

Next time you are tempted to consider that consensus discernment is novel, strange or complicated just remember – if you come from another place it may be normal, familiar and simple.

Healthy Churches and Football

Healthy Churches and Football

Healthy churches remind me of football teams. Last weekend here in Australia the grandfinals were played in two major football codes. Well done Sydney City (NRL) and West Coast Eagles (AFL)! The analysis of why one side won and the other lost will continue for some time. The answers have a lot in common with why some churches are healthy and others are not healthy churches.

Here at Making Church Decisions we are very passionate about the importance of using consensus decision making. We know that this approach makes it possible to create healthy and effective churches for mission. But we also know that we can teach all the “rules” for running a connsensus building approach but that just isn’t enough for your success!!

Both teams in the football grandfinals knew the rules. Both teams had the same number of players and followed very similar tactics. Yet one side was victorious and the other was defeated. Therefore it is clear that knowing the rules and the playbook doesn’t guarantee that you will succeed!!

Successful Football Teams

The successful grandfinalists have a lot in common with churches that succeed in applying consensus discernment. The successful teams had these features:

  • players who just kept improving – never settling for the standard they had reached up to that time. In physical fitness and skills  they were “fit for purpose”
  • they played as a team and not a collection of “star” individuals
  • there was a captain and/or play makers who people trusted and followed, playing their part in response to that leadership
  • one or two sets of players who just “clicked” as a unit – partners who together were better than each one on their own
  • the coach had a plan and the team consistently put it into practice
  • creativity – they saw opportunities and took hold of them. It’s like they made something out of nothing.

Successful – Healthy – Churches

Healthy churches are essential for the effective implementation of consensus discernment. So, here are six supports for healthy churches. They have an amazing similarity to how to be a successful sporting team!

  1. Growing in Discipleship: mature disciples behave in mature ways. So churches need to never let their members settle for where they are in their discipleship. Leaders need to challenge people to constantly recognise their growth points and help them to achieve them. Consensus decision makers need to be “fit for purpose”.
  2. Fostering Healthy Relationships: healthy churches are not a collection of individual stars – and that includes the Minister / Pastor too!! Healthy churches know that to play as a team they have to make good relationships possible. So learn how to apologise, to forgive, to listen carefully and empathetically and to speak with care and respect. These are essential.
  3. Providing Strong Leadership: organizations need leaders. They also need people who will welcome that leadership and work with it in hopeful and expectant ways.
  4. Building Respectful Partnerships: help people to collaborate. Create environments that encourage partnerships and allow people to play to their strengths.
  5. Following a Clear Decision-Making Process: when people don’t know how and why things happen then it undermines teamwork. When using consensus discernment people need to know the game plan. They need to understand the process and how it gets to a decision point. Knowing the rules only makes sense if we know how they come together into an effective plan.
  6. Be open to Transformative Change: God doesn’t always work in with our strategic plan. Sometimes there are opportunities that just open up  in unexpected ways – and we have to take them. The whole process of consensus discernment assumes that God will show us something that we haven’t thought of yet. Therefore the churches that are best equiped to use it are those who know how to do transformative change – who know how to spontaneously create something.

Conclusion

The practices and tools of consensus discernment can be learned by anyone. Any group can use them – it isn’t that hard. But like knowing the rules of a game it doesn’t mean that you will be any good when it comes time to use them.

In order to be effective in using consensus discernment tools churches need to be healthy churches. So grow the quality of your discipleship and relationships. Honour and work with yor leaders, build partnerships, teach and follow good process and expect and delight in transformative change.

Negotiation & Consensus: Getting to Yes

Common concerns

Negotiation principles are widely applied in many different contexts. What about consensus building appraoches to grooup decision-making? One frequent objection to consensus based decision-making is that it is a new fangled idea that has no track record of success. Some of the ways that this is expressed include:

  • the whole idea is a wishy washy approach that doesn’t work in real life
  • leads to lowest common denominator outcomes
  • it’s all about making a compromise – lose / lose
  • it lacks robust engagement
  • no one uses consensus-building – because it doesn’t work

Negotiation as a conflict resolving tool

For centuries people, businesses and countries have negotiated their way through disagreements. They have used different techniques. Among them have been:

  • threats – if you don’t do what I want then I will make you suffer
  • power – if we don’t agree  then I will use my power to get what I want
  • compromise – each party gives up something to get a bit of what they want
  • interest based negotiation – each seeks to meet the goals of both sides

In the last 50 years or so the the most widely used and effective form of negotiation has been “interest based negotiation”. The classic book on this subject is Getting to Yes: negotiating an agreement without giving in by Roger Fisher and William Ury. It was first published in 1982 and has sold millions of copies through many reprints since then.

Interest based negotiation, sometimes called principled negotiation, is well summarised in the chapter headings of Getting to Yes.

Don’t bargain over positions

When people enter into a dispute they usually start by focusing on what they want out of the situation. That is a position. For example: A couple arguing that only $X is available for a new car. Or “We need to cut the church budget to cope with increasing costs.”

The reason there is a conflict is because the outomes – or positions as they are called – held by the parties are different. Both sides can’t get what they want if they focus on a position.

Instead the focus should be on the things that are most important to the parties – the true goal stripped of the particularity of a position. What is the true interest. For example: “We have only a limited family budget and I don’t want to upset my partner who has other priorities instead of a car.” Or “I’m concerned that the church reserves are going down under my watch as Treasurer.”

These are interests. The deeper need / agenda that is hidden behind the positions of the price to be paid for a car or a focus on budget cuts. By identifying interests and starting the conversation there it is possible to have a very different conversation about options that meet those needs.

Method in interest based negotiations

Separate the people from the problem. Don’t make the dispute personal. See the other party as someone who has legitimate interests and – like you – is trying to have them met. Do not treat them as an enemy. Work with them as a partner in finding a solution that works for both of you.

Foucs on interests not positions. As noted above there is usually more room for conversation around interests than there is about positions. If the argument is about the price of something then there are only so many points to make. However if the discussion also includes ongoing relationships, total family budget, and priorities in the budget then that can be a lot to talk about!

Invent options for mutual gain. The classic “rule” in negotiations is to give something to the other party that is of the highest value to them and the lowest cost to you. As interests are identified and owned it is possible to see what matters most to the parties. By taking a collaborative approach it is possible to create offers that are great gains for the other side but are not a great cost to you. For example: I may be very happy to give up my Friday  pizza and beer night for a year and put that towards the cost of car repayments. After all I was considering going on a diet anyway!

Insist on using objective criteria. Participants in disputes often become very emotive, or base decisions on their understanding of the data. By insisting on “checking the facts” through an objective mechanism some of this emotion can be moderated. When everyone can agree on the data it makes it much easier to find common ground. Negotiations have to be based on reality.

Negotiation and Consensus

If you are familiar with consensus building, as we have presented in our book (The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together) and blog posts, you will immediately see the similarities between negotiation and consensus based discernment. I will not highlight them again here.

The common ground between negotiation and consensus building is huge! In fact consensus building can be considered as interest based negotiation for groups.

If anyone tells you that consensus building discernment is just a fad that has no track record in real life – tell them they are wrong! Interest based negotiation is the standard for international diplomatic and trade negotiations. It is also the same approach that is used in interpersonal mediation. Consensus building discenment draws on the same principles and practices and locates them in the framework of Christian discipleship.

A consensus building approach to discernment is grounded in solid academic research and practical experience. If you want the best chance of creating lasting, owned and implemented decisions then you must use consensus building in your church.

 

 

Crucial Conversations – tools for talking when the stakes are high

Crucial Conversations – a book review

This is an amazing book. Patterson, et al write with an easy to read, engaging and humorous style. Yet even better than this – the content is life changing!! Based on 25 years of research Patterson and his colleagues have identified a way of communicating that saves lives, enriches personal relationships, saves corporations millions of dollars, and can even improve your health!

Crucial Conversations: tools for talking when the stakes are high is a very practical resource for people who want their organisations and relationships to be healthy and flourishing places. In addition to the value in the book, there are links to a treasure trove of videos, research and other resources. The free videos and research articles will help you learn, and to lead others in learning, how to hold crucial conversations. You can find some of them here.

What are crucial conversations?

There are three elements that are required for an interaction to be regarded as a “crucial conversation.” There has to be

  • opposing opinions – usually very strongly held views
  • strong emotions – the kind that usually causes people to flee
  • high stakes – the issues on the table are significant

Finally, of course, there can only be a conversation if someone is prepared to face the challenging situation and not avoid it. This book resources you to be the person who can help that crucial conversation to happen.

Some of the key points

  • Avoid making the “fool’s choice”. The “fool’s choice” is to imagine that there are only two alternatives.
  1. Speak up and turn someone significant to me (boss, workmate, partner, etc) into a sworn enemy. Or
  2. Suffer in silence and make a bad decision that has devastating consequences.
  • Getting into dialogue takes a conscious choice – it is hard, requires skill, and an audacious hope that there is a way through.
  • Start with what really matters to you. Avoid knee-jerk emotional responses that usually lead to negative outcomes. As Ambrose Bierce said, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
  • Understand yourself. Know your style when under stress.
  • Create pools of shared meaning – get everyone to bring their best insights to the discussion. “The pool of shared meaning is the birthplace of synergy.”

Who is this book for?

It may seem trite to say that this book is for everyone – but it is! However, if you are a leader then you must read this book. Leaders who want to make decisions that are effective, owned by the people in the organisation and create a positive culture will use the insights in this book every day.

At Making Church Decisions we believe in the same outcomes that are fostered through Crucial Conversations. One of the great contributions made by this book is that it develops the skills that make it possible to have safe, respectful and engaging conversations.

Consensus building needs the sharing of all insights and experiences relevant to a decision. Yet people often flee from such conversations because of the culture of a group or the power of people in the system.  By using the skills in this book you will be able to keep the dialogue going when there are opposing positions,  emotions are strong, and the stakes are high.

In future posts, I will unpack some specific ideas from the book Crucial Conversations – tools for talking when the stakes are high.

5 Vowels for a Positive Group Life Experience

Group life is amazing!!! It can be so enriching. Group life can also be so painful. Everyone who has ever been a part of a small group knows that the experience can be either good or bad. When it is good – people thrive and ideas flourish. When it is bad people compete with one another and strive to win. Having a good group life just might come down to 5 vowels.

Group life – how many trees?

The largest living organism on the planet is found in Utah in the United States of America. The ‘Trembling Giant’ is actually one tree with 47,000 stems and one root system. It’s definitely a case of you can’t see the forest for the tree! What this plant teaches us is the importance of recognizing our roots. It’s the same with group life.

Use your 5 vowels

Good Group life comes down to honoring the basics. Review this list of 5 vowels to see if your group life is healthy:

A = Ask and answer questions graciously. Stay focused on the matter before you by asking questions that get to the other person’s feelings and best hopes rather questions that limit replies to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Help your group complete its task by staying on point. Try not to be a group hog by dominating the conversation. Be curious about what others think and value.

E = Explore together where God may be leading. Use a process that prompts people to move toward consensus whenever possible. Discuss the matter before you with integrity. Consider options carefully. Remember: you can only speak for yourself – encourage others to do the same. When you get stuck: stop and pray.

I = Inspire – Be God’s cheerleader and remain upbeat. This is done by encouraging people to be the best that they can be! So, use good communication tools such as using “I” statements to take responsibility for yourself and encourage others to do the same. Whenever possible, paraphrase what the other person has just said before responding to ensure that you heard them correctly. Words matter. Make your group a safe place for honesty.  Be transparent.

O = Observe the feelings and thoughts of others and yearn for their peace and well-being. Feelings are harder to express than opinions and thoughts. Yet, when people share their feelings they also let you know what is important to them and what values they consider as they make decisions. Monitor your feelings carefully. Respect one another.

U = seek to understand one another. The odds are high that whenever you sit in a group for discussion or decision, you may be seated with someone that holds a different view just as precious as the one you hold. Your group is not a place to convince or lobby. The most powerful words we can say to one another is “I’m interested in what you have to say.  Please, tell me more…”

Trust me – You’ve got this!

Remember these 5 vowels the next time you find yourself in a group discussion to have a positive group experience.  Create a checklist to remember good group etiquette.

A = Ask

E = Explore together where God may be leading

I = Inspire

O = Observe the feelings and thoughts of others

U = understand

A final prayer

St Benedict summed up group life well when he wrote this prayer:

Gracious and Holy Father 

give us wisdom to recognize you

intelligence to understand you

diligence to seek you

patience to wait for you

eyes to see you

a heart to meditate on you

and a life to proclaim you,

through the power of the Risen Lord. 

Amen