12 Early Warning Signs of Conflict (# 2)

In the last post we shared six warning signs about conflict. So that you can properly assess your situation here are another six warning signs that there is conflict in your group.

More Warning Signs of Conflict

7.  Leaders compete with one another and act uncivil to each other

You know that you are in a difficult position when leaders compete with one another for time and funding. Instead you would rather see collaboration with each other to ensure that both side’s needs are being met.  It is never wise to tolerate people making nasty comments to one another or  belittling one another.  Do your leaders sense that they are on the same team or is each one in it for themselves?

8.  Differences lead to withdrawal

As you look out over your congregation when they worship, or at participants in meetings do you notice people missing who once were active?  Often, people withdraw from regular activity when they sense that trouble is around.  There are a lot of people that would rather flee than fight. In your organization are matters dealt with in a timely manner or are they allowed to fester – which leads to people staying away?

9.  Little laughter is heard

This is perhaps one of the easiest warning signs to notice, yet one of the hardest to effectively deal with.  Have you noticed an absence of laughter and good-natured fun in your congregation?  Do people have the ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously?  Is there a good spirit that becomes obvious in tough times? Or, do people tend to take things too seriously all of the time and miss the moving of the spirit creating new windows to experience God’s love?

10.  Giving is more a chore than a joy

This is a sign that probably was on your own list of warning signs.  When financial giving is down, it is hard to make your expenses. You notice people get nervous during these times wondering how they are going to pay the bills. Unless there has been a catastrophic event in your community like the closing of a factory, or business that employs members of your church, the odds are high that members are withdrawing their support for a reason. Discovering that reason is a significant step in turning around the situation.

11.  Pastor/Judicatory Leader spends valuable time calming people

I have noticed over the years that as colleagues share with me the story of their call to ministry they never say: “I’m in ministry to keep people happy!”  Have you noticed the same thing?  It is not the job of the pastor or judicatory leader to constantly smooth the waters so people can remain calm and not face reality.

When my son was a teenager he would freguently say:  “I’m bored” or “I’m not happy.”  I learned to respond:  “What are you going to do about that?”  or “How can I help you deal with those feelings?”  Most often it was simply a matter of listening to him blow off steam in order to refocus or discover new options.  When church leaders in authority feel that it is their job to keep the peace (rather than make it), everyone suffers.  How well do you allow people to express their feelings?  Are you able to give the work back to people who complain so that they can be part of the solution rather than become a problem?

Christopher Columbus had three ships as he sailed to the new world.  His flagship was the Santa Maria.  When he reached what we now know was the Caribbean, he noticed that the Pinta was always falling behind for one reason after another rather than sailing with the other ships.  This slowed everyone down.  As his patience was exhausted he told the smaller ship’s crew that the other ships were sailing west in the morning.  When they set out the next day where was the Pinta? Right behind them! Lesson: keep your eye on where your organization must go in order to stay a float.  Allow others the chance to join you solving problems.

12.  Called meetings poorly attended (or packed)

This warning sign can go either way and still point to a larger problem: do people feel that their participation is essential to the wider organization?

I remember one church that I joined that was faced with a dilemma. Leaders said that they wanted to grow numerically and welcome younger people with children.  With hard work, we accomplished that goal. Suddenly it became clear to people that this growth was necessitating changes.  There was now a need for a nursery. This meant that an adult class would have to relocate to the Sanctuary for Bible Study on Sunday mornings.

Further, the Sanctuary was becoming too crowded during Worship and (dare I say it?) newcomers were sitting in seats usually occupied by older members.  The Pastor called a Worship Committee meeting to discuss the matter.  Only 2 people attended.  After coaching him to deal with the situation, he held a church-wide meeting to discuss the matter. 15 minutes before the meeting a line was forming around the building!  50 people were engaged in what was happening.  It took us one hour to complete a SWOT diagram together listing the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that the new growth was causing.  The meeting decided that we would start a second worship service within the month. We also agreed to work hard at fellowship opportunities to create spaces for people to get to know one another and be a congregation in 2 worship services. It worked!

What happens when you call a meeting to discuss a situation your congregation faces?  Do people have a sense that their participation is important?  Do they have a belief that they will all get to have a say, but not all will have their way?

Conclusion

There are 12 warning signs that conflict may be present in your church. Knowing these signs and effectively dealing with them can save your church energy and time.  Bottom line: when these warning signs are present do something!!

In our next post I will share some options for how you might respond if you see these signs.