Have you ever been in the midst of making a decision and got stuck rather than moved forward? Often parties can discover a creative resolution to a problem by themselves. Sometimes, they reach an impasse where they cannot agree together on what to do. A mediator or a neutral 3rd party can intervene and help to break the impasse.
Here are a few interventions which can break through an impasse
- Agree to stay in the process until a just resolution is found
- Break the issue down into smaller parts and deal with the easiest first
- Identify the goal (what do you both want to accomplish).
- Consult an expert to supply needed facts or advice
- Review the parties’ priorities and name common interests
- Meet with the parties separately to explore a willingness to compromise
- Try to get people to express what they originally expected the solution to be
- Encourage people to acknowledge the other’s point of view and best hopes
- Ensure the people want to end the conflict and ask for their help
- Ask the parties to describe what the ideal solution would look like
- As you and the others share what is important to you, you should be able to start identifying common areas and action steps
- Focus on how the solution would affect an involved third party
- Compliment the parties for reaching earlier points of agreement and est their willingness to compromise
- Name the consequences of not working together
- Wisely use silence and questions about feelings
- Look for points of agreement or mutual needs. Respect is something both parties usually want and is a good place to start if you are both stuck.
- State what both parties have to lose
- Identify the real problem or issue. Uncover the “real” issues or needs.
- Meet in a relaxed environment with refreshments
- Ask open-ended questions. “How can we resolve this?”
- Call a timeout and give a homework assignment for them to complete
- Brainstorm options and tell them which alternative is closest to their need
- Pray (not Prey) for each other
- Avoid using words like, “ought” or “should.” Those are blaming words and make people defensive.
- Look at examples of how others in a similar situation have reached a resolution
- Work with one of the parties to break the impasse while in the company of the other
What other techniques would you add to the list?
Working through an impasse well is possible. Often, people will follow your leadership in reaching a creative solution to the challenges they face if they know that you have their best interest at heart.
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