Tag: Impasse

8 Steps to Turn Differences into Opportunities

Differences – threat or opportunity?

Differences consume us. The media concentrates on the differences between communities. Differences are presented as reasons for fear and violence. Sadly churches have become consumed by their differences. Many members often do not recognise each other as sisters and brothers in Christ.

Turning differences into opportunities is the subtitle of a classic book by world renowned mediator Mark Gerzon. His 2006 book Leading Through Conflict: how successful leaders transform differences into opportunities remains an essential book for those who abhor conflict in the church.

Fear or Hope – what shapes your leadership?

Gerzon calls leaders out for their lack of courage and unwillingness to overcome conflict in their organizations. Effective leaders bring people together, he says. Frightened leaders or survival oriented managers (and Ministers) freeze in the headlights of conflict and betray the people and organizations that they are called to serve.

Alternatively, hope believes that a better future is possible. The Gospel is about the reign of God bringing peace and reconciliation for the whole of creation. Do Ministers / Pastors / Priests and other leaders in the church believe enough if the reconciling work of Jesus Christ to hope in the face of conflict? Is your God big enough to overcome the intractable differences in your church?

8 powerful tools

Gerzon offers eight effective tools for people who want to move from being local dictators and everyday managers to being effective mediators of peace and wholeness.

  1. Integral vision – acknowledging all sides of the conflict
  2. Systems thinking – understanding the connection between the factors that contribute to a conflict
  3. Presence – using all your emotional, spiritual, and mental resources to understand the nature of the dispute
  4. Inquiry – asking the right questions to get all the relevant information
  5. Conscious communication – making good choices about how you communicate during a conflict
  6. Dialogue – inspire people’s ability to work through the conflict
  7. Bridging – build partnerships that cross the borders that divide
  8. Innovation – foster breakthrough ideas and new options for resolving differences

Conclusion

Differences are always with us. Differences are not inherently bad. When we discover that there are differences between us and others a whole new world of possibilities opens up before us.

Navigating our differences together as a group is one of the ways that God leads the church into a more faithful place. However when differences have become personalised and deeply conflicted it is very much harder to realise those opportunities. That’s when expert guidance – and a lot of faith – come.

In later posts I will unpack more of Gerzon’s work from Leading Through Conflict or you can buy it here. I have drawn on his book The Re-United States of America in earlier posts such as Enough! It’s time to show some courage and Finding a Creative Solution to Conflict 

12 ways to break an impasse in your group

What’s an Impasse?

 

An impasse can prevent your leaders from making an important decision in a timely way. Therefore being frozen – stuck in an impasse – can be detrimental to the very future of your organization.

In preparation for discerning the matter, presentations have been made outlining the situation and proposing a specific direction forward. Just when you think your organization is ready to decide the issue, the unfortunate occurs:  an impasse is reached. Another option has gathered support and the group is now split between the choices.  We call this situation an impasse.

An impasse is when there are two or more choices on the table and people are unable to choose one.  Yogi Bera once said when you come to a fork in the road:  take it.  This is disastrous advice!

Impasses can paralyze a group and prevent them from making decisions in a timely manner.  Sometimes this happens because two different options seem equally good.  An impasse may also occur because people have lobbied for support outside the meeting and people feel a sense of loyalty to key leaders and their ideas.  Miscommunication can also result in an impasse. When people are stuck and unable to embrace change, an impasse seems like standing still in a fork in the road.

Nevertheless, a decision is not going to be made unless you deal with the issues and feelings causing the impasse.

Basic Steps Forward

Here is a list of specific things that you can do to help your group move beyond an impasse to make a good decision.  Consider these steps the next time you find yourself in your organizational “fork in the road”:

  1. Break the key issue down into smaller parts. Flag the most difficult matters and reserve them for later.
  2. Ask the parties to share why a specific alternative is unacceptable to them.  Draw the conversation to the big picture – the goals and away from the detail – strategy / methods. Then, ask people what they like about an idea before them.
  3. Look for creative options that may arise. When people focus on a goal they can see many ways to achieve them. Creative ideas come from looking first at the main goal.
  4. Listen carefully for assumptions not based on fact and point them out.
  5. Once ideas and accurate information are out in the open be prepared to take a break. Ask the parties to use the break to think about the various alternatives presented.
  6. Reconvene and review the parties’ priorities and common interests. List them on newsprint for the group to refer to as they make their final decision.
  7. Recognising common ground really helps bring people together when they might otherwise see each other as opponents.
  8. Encourage the parties to recognize and acknowledge each other’s points of view.
  9. Ask the parties for their help to move forward. What would make it possible for them to make a decision? What are they willing to give up for the good of the entire community?  Look at the impact of various solutions on all involved.
  10. Ask the parties to indicate what would change or happen if they reached a solution.  This is an opportunity for people to share their feelings.  Make sure this is a safe experience. Encourage people to use “I” statements and be respectful.
  11. In serious stalemates, offer the parties mediation, as opposed to letting the conflict fester and grow.  Use a trained facilitator.  Help people to not take the matter personally.
  12. Choose a way forward.  Be sure to thank people for their hard work and diligence.  Let them know that they have modeled the very best witness to others in facing their differences.

What to do when you break an impasse?

Remember that there are people who are affected by the decision that did not make it. So make sure that you promptly, clearly and pastorally communicate the decision to the wider community. Be quick and try to keep ahead of the rumour mill!

Not everyone who was stuck in the impasse has had the benefit of the process that made it possible for others to move. Think about how it is possible to share that journey with others. This can make  it possible for them to take the emotional and intellectual steps through the impasse.

Celebrate. People have worked hard, respected their community and sought to be faithful. Give thanks.

Conclusion

An impasse does not have to divide your faith community!  With proper leadership and a clear process, it can be a situation that reminds your group of their values and help them reclaim them. Groups can emerge from an impasse stronger and in the future be better equiped to make good decisions in a timely manner.

Simple Steps to Break an Impasse

Have you ever been in the midst of making a decision and got stuck rather than moved forward? Often parties can discover a creative resolution to a problem by themselves. Sometimes, they reach an impasse where they cannot agree together on what to do.  A mediator or a neutral 3rd party can intervene and help to break the impasse.

Here are a few interventions which can break through an impasse

  •  Agree to stay in the process until a just resolution is found
  • Break the issue down into smaller parts and deal with the easiest first
  • Identify the goal (what do you both want to accomplish).
  • Consult an expert to supply needed facts or advice
  • Review the parties’ priorities and name common interests
  • Meet with the parties separately to explore a willingness to compromise
  • Try to get people to express what they originally expected the solution to be
  • Encourage people to acknowledge the other’s point of view and best hopes
  • Ensure the people want to end the conflict and ask for their help
  • Ask the parties to describe what the ideal solution would look like
  • As you and the others share what is important to you, you should be able to start identifying common areas and action steps
  • Focus on how the solution would affect an involved third party
  • Compliment the parties for reaching earlier points of agreement and est their willingness to compromise
  • Name the consequences of not working together
  •  Wisely use silence and questions about feelings
  • Look for points of agreement or mutual needs. Respect is something both parties usually want and is a good place to start if you are both stuck.
  • State what both parties have to lose
  • Identify the real problem or issue. Uncover the “real” issues or needs.
  • Meet in a relaxed environment with refreshments
  •  Ask open-ended questions. “How can we resolve this?”
  • Call a timeout and give a homework assignment for them to complete
  • Brainstorm options and tell them which alternative is closest to their need
  • Pray (not Prey) for each other
  • Avoid using words like, “ought” or “should.” Those are blaming words and make people defensive.
  • Look at examples of how others in a similar situation have reached a resolution
  • Work with one of the parties to break the impasse while in the company of the other

What other techniques would you add to the list?

Working through an impasse well is possible. Often, people will follow your leadership in reaching a creative solution to the challenges they face if they know that you have their best interest at heart.