Tag: leadership

Cross-Cultural Sensitivity

We often take for granted culture, question established practices, and make assumptions from our own particular world view. This rarely supports the strong respect necessary to help others with diverse backgrounds work productively on the issues and challenges we all face.

Today, the church is not only a multi-cultural body of Christ- it also serves a globally diverse world with a myriad of cultures. Today, an ability to reach across the cultures to offer Christ and make Christ known is an essential gift that church members can share if they are culturally savvy.

The neighborhood where I grew up was a place of white faces that came from Italy, Germany, Poland or Ireland. This was reflected in the various languages spoken and the wonderful food we shared.  I recognized from a very early age that people came from different places and did things differently.  Yet, we had one thing in common:  a desire to respectfully work together.  To understand one another and be understood. This was especially true at church where we sat on committees or worked on projects side by side. One example of this happening was the various cultures that came together to build the new church building – side by side.  There were many successful fundraisers:  Polish Sausage sandwiches, Spaghetti Diners, Saurerkraut sales, and of course, St. Patrick’s Day Irish Corned Beef.

Today,  that same neighborhood and church are full of a greater variety of cultures:  European, Asian, African, and Hispanic.  There are various holidays and festivals that bring people together.  But the road has not always been easy!

Each culture has it’s own styles of communicating, making decisions, and resolving conflict.  Gone are the days (if they ever existed), that there is one way to do things.

Perhaps you have been asked to mediate a conflict in a Korean congregation or work with a Hispanic fellowship to establish a new worship center in your community. What can you do if you find yourself working cross-culturally?

Here are some practical steps to improve your CQ (Cultural Competency):

Establish Trust

    • Convey your desire to be culturally sensitive early on the process.
    • Be clear about why you are there and what you need from the group to complete the work requested, as well as naming what you have to offer to the process.
    • Acknowledge that you are aware that you have much to learn from the other group(s).
    • Focus on the shared task ahead.  Form community: hard to create – even harder to sustain.
    • Be sure to seek feedback when you see people behaving in ways that are puzzling to you.
    • Remember people care about what you know when they know that you care about them.
    • Be vulnerable.  When you do not know something or an issue is beyond your expertise, name it.
    • Discover who some of the key shareholders are in the group and go to them to ask for their support to accomplish the task that you were given. Ask them what you need to know about the group’s culture that would help them accept you and make you a better contributor.
    • Bottom line:  learn the culture you are working with (customs, ways of making decisions, even some keywords or phrases).

Get to know members of the other group

    • Take the time to listen to people’s stories and experiences.  I often ask people to share pictures of important people or celebrations in their life with me as a way to introduce ourselves. I then do the same.
    • Encourage people from the other culture to use their skills for the welfare of the entire group and the shared goals.
    • Foster healthy, strong relationships among members of the group.  Take time for team building.
    • Establish good bonds with participants that will help you be effective in working with the group
    • Don’t generalize.
    • Try not to intervene too quickly when people are on opposite sides of an issue or decision.  Ask guiding questions to surface common ground.

Form a team of Culturally Inclusive Leaders

    • This is a team of people from the group who can help you work through your process (lead listening sessions for you, remind people of meetings and assignments, lead Devotions or times of Centering, etc.
    • Invite this Team to generate communications and be part of a feedback loop.
    • Demonstrates an ability to work with and appreciate others cross-culturally.
    • Embrace diversity.  Give a little to the others on a team to accomplish and accept their way of getting the job done even if it is a method you have not used in the past.  Be sure to stay in the loop and monitor how the work gets done.
    • Encourage!

Promote Open, Honest Communication

    • Keep instructions simple and ask for clarity when necessary
    • Have an interpreter present especially if you are working with 1st generation immigrants or members of the culture who do not speak English well.
    • Request that the group be direct and speak to others not about them.  No triangulation.
    • Avoid slang and jargon. Literal interpretations are often misunderstood.
    • Learn to respect silence. It means respect in several cultures because it demonstrates a willingness to listen.  Be patient when asking questions or providing choices.
    • Don’t accept myths about the other culture
    • Resolution skills practiced should always give the work back to the people.  This brings an increased awareness of how members can best resolve conflict in the future.
    • Put things in writing.  Ensure that they are distributed to the right people and at the same time if possible.
    • Adapt customs of the culture you are working with into the process you have designed.  For example, when I am working with a group from the South Pacific Islands I frequently convene a Soamoan Listening Circle to surface thoughts and feelings. It works!

Set a clear, compelling direction

    • Explain the process clearly and invite questions for clarity.
    • Be sure that participants understand why you are there and what the end product is of the work.
    • Involve every participant in the process. Let them know that every person is essential to completing the task before them whether it is assessing a Pastor, moving to a new location, resolving conflict, etc.
    • Stay focused on your goals.
    • Evaluate progress by the steps you have taken to facilitate the group dealing with their issues, make good decisions, or resolve conflict.
    • Don’t take slow-downs personally. Listen to the stories and be patient.  This is one way a culture communicates its values and boundaries.

Explore Differences Within the Group

    • Treat others as they want to be treated.
    • Acknowledge the “fault lines” present in the group by naming the distinctions within the group. They may be generational, gender, language, place of birth, etc.
    • Know what motivates participants.  Why should they work with you?  What do you add that they can do themselves?
    • Manage friction with sensitivity.

Create clear rules of engagement and maintain them

    • Incorporate practices from various cultures. Examples include using a talking piece when speaking in the group, or sitting in a circle to hear the wisdom of the elders.
    • Establish norms for behavior.  I am a firm behavior in establishing a covenant with a group on how they want to be treated and treat others.
    • Stick with established guidelines so you do not get off track.
    • Be polite yet firm when someone acts outside of Covenant.  Re-invite the person to stand inside the Covenant or let them remove themselves from the work.

Resolve Conflict Quickly

    • When you observe tension in the group deal with it swiftly.  Don’t let it fester.
    • Use the cultural perspectives of the group to serve as a cultural bridge.  For example, in Asian cultures, you do not cause another person to lose face (be embarrassed in pubic).

Benefits of Working Cross-Culturally

Why do all this work?  Why develop sensitivity and appreciation of working with various cultures beyond your own?

There are many benefits:

    1. The ability to plan and adapt your work for various audiences leads to a stronger process and greater effectiveness professionally.
    2. Other people bring cultural insights that you will find helpful even when working with your own culture.  I have learned many tools from cross-cultural work that are fun and engaging.
    3. Being collegial across cultural lines improves relationships and expands your network. I have discovered that despite cultural differences there is a common core that remains the same among humans:  love, care, respect, encouragement, etc.
    4. The more culturally diverse the group is, the greater the array of options generated. You get a better solution that people can live with later.
    5. Because the world is growing more diverse, I find myself curious when encountering cultural distinctions. I am better for each encounter.

One of the most important things that you can do is to be a lifelong learner of working with others cross-culturally.  A great resource offered by the Evangelical Lutherans in the USA is a short workbook: http://download.elca.org/ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/Talking_Together_As_Christians_Cross_Culturally_A_Field_Guide.pdf

Conclusion

Perhaps it is easier to work with people just like you yet the world is so diverse and exciting for the many people who live in this world.  The odds of you encountering people from a different culture are more likely today than ever before. These encounters are not to be feared but embraced. Our challenge is to be aware of our cultural bias and blindspots.

As a church consultant, I welcome the opportunity to share my skills and abilities with others regardless of culture.  It’s not a barrier to me because I have learned how to be culturally sensitive and recognize that I have even further to go.

The Gospel is intended for all people regardless of where they were born or the language they speak.  Wasn’t it Paul who once said that in Christ there is no black or white, East or West, male or female…?  The Apostle was talking about surface things that tend to divide us when in fact they are strengths that can unite us.

Perhaps the task of cross-cultural conversation and work may be to discern and develop effective ways to talk and work together.  To do this, we must own our own culture and biases and be willing to embrace another’s culture with curiosity and respect.

Cross-cultural sensitivity doesn’t just happen. It is challenging and hard works yet it is possible to do.  What’s your CQ?

I hope you found this article helpful.  Drop me a line and let me know your cross-cultural learnings that help shape your ministry. I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

Community based decision-making process – 1st step: Preparation

Be prepared for anything

A sound decision-making process needs good preparation. So put in place the steps to be effective. This series of four posts walks you through the steps required for effective community based decision-making. The first step is preparation. Step 2 is invitation. Step 3 is deliberation and decision.The final step 4 is to implement the decision.

How you begin the work of making decisions affects how you complete it. Preparation is the crucial first step. “The Church Guide For Making Decisions Together” expands on this material in pages 86 – 92; and the Checklist on page 184. You can get your copy from Amazon.

Preparation

In this step of the process focus on organisation. Therefore give attention to the following elements. Then you will cover all the important parts of this phase. Overlooking any of the following six steps can lead to significant negative consequences. Do not underestimate the value of good preparation!

  1. Name the decision to be made

    People need to know what is being asked of them. So put clearly into words the issue, and the form of the proposal. This clarifies what is being considered. Then people can pray and think wisely about the issue.

    Provide information about the possible decision (i.e. the proposal). Also include how and when the decision will be made. People in an organisation are more likely to accept a decision if there is transparency. People need to understand and trust the process or they will want to go over the issue again and again. So tell them the process!

    You have told people the issue / proposal being considered. They know when it will be considered ,and the process that will be used to come to a decision. In addition people need to know who is making the decision. In a local church context this may seem obvious. However when a decision is contentious it is well worth reminding the wider group who has been trusted to lead in this area of decision-making. This is a way of building confidence and trust. If there is an external facilitator involved it is important to share, widely, who they are and why they have been selected.

    The first stage of preparation is to let the decision makers, and those affected by the decision, know what is happening. Be as clear as you can.

  2.  Design the Process

    Consider forming a Process Planning Group to assist in this task. This group will take the leadership (perhaps the responsibility) for designing an effective process. Their role is to draw a road map for the journey towards discernment. On this map will be:

    + Communication strategies for the community affected by the decision.

    + Communication strategies for the decision makers.

    + A process for use within the meeting. It will cover information sharing, ways to explore an issue, strategizing about how to include all voices and how to generate creative options to resolve the matter, etc.

    + The timeline for making a decision – it doesn’t all have to be in one meeting!

  3. Fill key leadership roles

    Name the meeting chair (this is often a person already elected). If you decide to have small group discussion as a part of the process, design the groups and ensure they are inclusive. Recruit small group leaders and schedule as many training sessions as required to make them ready. When making decisions on matters that have a profound impact on your organisation we recommend that you utilize a trained facilitator to guide the process.

  4. Support the entire process with prayer and other spiritual practices

    Don’t forget to call a season of prayer, and if appropriate, fasting for the entire process. If there are Bible passages that people can helpfully study and meditate on, make these known. Immerse your community in the process. Provide knowledge about what is happening. It is nothing less than discerning the will of Christ for His church on this issue, in this place, at this time. This is a spiritual undertaking.

  5. Set Meeting Guidelines

    Be clear about who can participate in the process. Also be able to say what they need to know in order to participate. Now is the time to list respectful ways to work together (listen deeply, ask clarifying questions, be in a spirit of prayer, etc). If you don’t have a Behavioral Covenant now may be a good time to make one. Make these guidelines known well ahead of time.

  6. Provide a safe environment to meet

The location of the meeting matters. The space you choose should allow for people to clearly see and hear each other. We recommend setting the room up in a circular pattern to promote a sense of community. If necessary have a sound system. Think about hospitality and comfort – respect and care for the people who are making the decision.

If you do not already have one, consider establishing a behavioral covenant to guide respectful interactions with people. If you have one ensure that it is before people and they commit to following it.

Do not assume that people know to communicate well with one another. Encourage people to listen before speaking, to ask clarifying questions so they understand what is said, not to monopolize the conversation, etc.

Conclusion

If you take  time to prepare your decision-making process, you will lay the groundwork for a good experience and make better decisions. The goal of your preparation is to give people confidence in the process and therefore to be better able to accept the outcome.

 

Psychology and Consensus

Man getting lost in a fog

Psychology / our disposition to certain ways of responding to the world is very powerful. How much does psychology influence the preference of a person to take up an “Evangelical” or socially conservative view of the faith? The same question could be asked of socially progressive and theologically “liberal” Christians.

This post is not so much interested in the reason people are “Evangelical” or otherwise. Rather the concern is how do we navigate our relationships and build consensus when psychology is such an influence on our views of the world.

Psychology and religious conservatism

In a previous post, I shared an article that explored the link between a person’s psychological traits and their willingness to stay with their support of President Trump – no matter what he does. I noted there that Trump’s support among “Evangelical Christians” is incredibly high and stable.

It is incontestable that the actions endorsed by the US President, and his behaviour, are far from Christian norms. These norms are of acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. (Micah 6:8) Even so, Evangelical Christians continue to support him in overwhelming numbers. They do so irrespective of how much his decisions demean, damage and destroy the life of people and the planet.

That article offered some psychological explanations for why people support Trump. I wondered if the same psychological drivers that encourage people to be a rusted on Trump supporter might also be an explanation for why people prefer an “Evangelical” expression of the faith.

Building Consensus Across Psychological Barriers

To say that there may be a psychological disposition to preferring an “Evangelical” or “liberal” expression of faith does not go to the question of who is right or wrong. However, it is important for us to understand this personal background so that we can have a better understanding of one another.

This is important for many reasons. For one, it will help temper a temptation to rush to condemn people for hypocrisy or for not taking the Bible seriously. In addition, it may help us to relate better to people of an “Evangelical” disposition. This may meet their psychological needs in healthy ways or reduce its power. Finally, it helps us to develop consensus building strategies that might actually work. This is because they respond to the psychology of the other person.

Building consensus can seem impossible in the face of apparently intractable differences between people. However, we should not give in too quickly!! Consensus building processes always begin by seeking to understand the needs of the other person. When the needs of the other are understood it might be possible to find ways of meeting those needs.

However, before such conversations can happen at least one party to the conversation must show respect for the other person, care enough about them to try and understand them,  seek to meet their legitimate needs, and to have a toolkit that can help to build consensus.

Psychology and Being an Evangelical Christian

The Psychology Today article referenced in the earlier post identified 14 psychological traits that dispose people to be a rusted on Trump supporter. Only a disposition to racism seemed to offer no clue to why persons might prefer to express their Christian faith within the theological, cultural and social norms of “Evangelical” faith. These dispositions may also explain why some people are inclined to accept hierarchical church structures and Pentecostal expressions of faith.

Some of these traits are nurtured by parts of the Bible. Most though are nurtured by preachers, church culture and social practices in “Evangelical” and other churches. This serves to reinforce and meet these psychological needs.

Following are the 12 psychological traits that it might be wise to take into account when seeking to build consensus. Two do not apply. The suggestions for how to build consensus takes as a given that a person with an “Evangelical” and possibly a Pentecostal expression of faith could be operating out of this trait.

Let me state clearly that I am not saying that every “Evangelical” or Pentecostal Christian is living out of these psychological traits or needs.  However, where people are dogmatic and unrelenting in their position it could be that their actions owe more to psychology than Scripture. When this is so we need to be sensitive and creative in the responses that we make. At this point, an understanding of possible psychological traits may be helpful.

1. Practicality Trumps Morality

This is where people want to win at all costs. They consider that their goal is the most important one. In its worst expression, we see Christians who will manipulate others, lie, and seek the harm of others so that they get what they want. This is a very ugly witness for Christians to offer!!!

When this psychology takes over it can seem impossible to develop a consensus. When people want different things – opposites even – then how is consensus possible? The key here is to dig deeper into what it is that a person wants. Perhaps they are desiring an outcome, for example, no change to the worship times, but the need is different. Get behind the ask to what need is really driving them. Maybe then other solutions are possible. It is even possible that you can appeal to a higher goal. For example, a person may really prefer 11.00am for worship for reasons A, B and C. However, they may also care that the church connects with a new demographic and grows. So they will put aside one desire in favour of a goal that they value more highly.

Of course, there will always be people who want to get their way and will do anything to stop others. But by exploring through conversation to find deeper motives, or by appealing higher goals it may be possible to find an agreed solution.

2. The Brain’s Attention System Is More Strongly Engaged by Certain Stimuli

Emotional arousal keeps some people engaged. So it is possible that they will be more emotive, perhaps use more extreme language, quite likely they will engage with issues at a visceral level.

We need to respect that not everyone prefers to explore issues from a “head” / mind level. Rather than be disparaging about people who are emotive, think about the ways to engage them at that level. This will keep their interest and “speak their language.” This is not about getting into a shouting match. Rather, people are given the chance to speak their mind in ways that work for them. Then the communication back to them can also share emotions because this is what some people connect to as they think about an issue.

3. Obsession with Entertainment and Celebrities

The way the article put this point is: “To some, it doesn’t matter what Trump actually says because he’s so amusing to watch. With the Donald, you are always left wondering what outrageous thing he is going to say or do next. He keeps us on the edge of our seat, and for that reason, some Trump supporters will forgive anything he says. They are happy as long as they are kept entertained.”

OK, this is a hard one to handle. If people get their highs in a church from being entertained and not encouraged to seriously engage with issues that can make it a challenge to work with them on a shared project!

Hopefully, we can tap into other life experiences where they have had to dig deeper than a surface experience of a topic. People do know how to seek understanding but its amazing how many Christians don’t do that as they listen to worship services and in their decision-making processes. Yes, it comes down to convincing such people that not everything is fun and games.

4. Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn

We know that there is a lot of disenchantment in the church about many things. Traditional mainline churches are subject to a lot of criticism from within their membership. When this leads to frustration – because their concerns are not taken seriously – then some people don’t care if the whole thing blows up.

I have seen local churches and even denominations where people are so frustrated and angry they don’t care if the place crashes and burns. Even worse they seem to act in ways that try and make it happen. They become intransigent, aggressive and uncompromising.

The key here is to create genuine spaces of listening where that anger and frustration can get out. It is also essential that people can genuinely influence the outcomes of their group. A consensus building approach knows how to make safe spaces to hear people well. It is committed to vulnerability so that the original proposal is changed in the process. The changes may reflect the concerns of the frustrated, angry people.

People don’t destroy the groups that they value. So give people valuable experiences of the group and remind them of when the group was appreciated by them in the past.

5. The Fear Factor: Conservatives Are More Sensitive to Threat

There is certainly a lot in the preaching of some churches that promote fear and themselves / their message as the answer to that fear. If people have been discipled in a church that encourages fear then it heightens the habit of seeing things through the prism of fear. People become more anxious by default.

However, harder to handle is when the issues on which we seek to build a shared understanding are the topics around what people have been told to be fearful. Many Christians disagree over what to do in response to mass human migration, gender issues, human sexuality, humanitarian crises, etc. In many societies and churches, the fear factor has been played and people have bought into the answers to those fears delivered by those who peddled the fear.

In Australia at present, we are seeing church leaders creating a climate of fear about the future of the family and religious freedom because same-gender marriage is now legal. Perfect love casts out fear. So when met by fearful people all we can do is to create a safe place where it is possible to talk about our fears, offer comfort and hope, and a context in which to reduce fear through personal sharing, exposure to those who are causing the fear, and some good theological and information sharing.

Consensus discernment is committed to taking the time that is needed to bring everyone along. Overcoming fear can take a lot of time!

6. Mortality Reminders and Perceived Threat

“Terror Management Theory predicts that when people are reminded of their own mortality, which happens with fear mongering, they will more strongly defend those who share their worldviews and national or ethnic identity and act out more aggressively towards those who do not.”

When people see the future of themselves, kinship, values group, etc under threat then they turn on the attacker. When Christians engage in these sorts of attacks it can be an appalling departure from acceptable Christian behaviour.

There are two key options in this situation. First, help people find common ground with you. Do not let people position you as the enemy. Affirm shared values and the bonds that come from being Christians together. Avoid demonising and don’t get trapped into accepting the demonising that others do to you. Keep holding out the vision and the practical examples of being together in this challenge.

Secondly, challenge whether the threat / danger is really as big as people want to make out. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” When people are highly anxious and threatened they want to find an enemy and they want to fight. Don’t be that enemy or target!

7. Humans Often Overestimate Their Expertise

Many issues in life are complex. So it is not surprising that people are often under-informed or misinformed. In such situations, people are often willing to accept the views of their preferred expert. They can be very reluctant to listen to other opinions.

The Dunning- Kruger effect says that not only are people uninformed they do not even know that they are uninformed! Hence they think their insights are adequate.

A critical step in consensus discernment is to take time to provide all the information that is necessary for a person to participate in the decision-making. This step allows people to ask questions, to develop understanding and to be informed. Sure if people are so locked into their bias that they will not be open to new views it can be a problem. However, the operating assumption that information is empowering is a significant tool for encouraging people to learn.

8. Relative Deprivation — A Misguided Sense of Entitlement

To hear many Evangelical, Pentecostal and other preachers you would think that the world as we knew it is ending. Way too many preachers encourage their followers to believe that Christians have lost influence, are under threat from the rights that others are given, and will become a persecuted minority. Then they offer a solution on how to overcome these fears by “righting the wrongs” that Christians have “suffered”.

Pandering to greed and desire for power is never a good look for Christian preachers. If you are involved in a discernment process with someone who has a strong sense of entitlement the answer is not to tell to “stop being so precious”! Although that is a reasonable end game.

Once again sharing feelings can be a doorway to hearing each other better. Taking fears seriously and generating alternative perceptions of reality and how to overcome the “threat” is a pathway to growth.

Sharing some stories from the experience of those who are seen to be privileged is also helpful. This is connected with the next point.

9. Lack of Exposure to Dissimilar Others

A lot of Christians only hang out with people like themselves. This reinforces their prejudices and the narratives around them. In a consensus building process, the planning group should always ask “Who needs to be in the room when we have this discussion?” This may include people who are not decision makers but be people who are affected by decisions.

Consensus processes make space for all the voices that are relevant to decision-making. Also, by using small groups and random table groups for discussion people don’t only talk to like-minded people.

10. Tapping into Collective Narcissism

Collective narcissism is an unrealistic shared belief in the greatness of one’s group. It often occurs when a group believes it represents the ‘true identity’ of a nation or religion. This perspective / psychological trait makes for arrogance and closed-mindedness. 

I am sure that many of us have been in a situation where people consider themselves to be the defenders of the faith and show scant respect for the opinions of others. This attitude is one of the hardest to address in any meeting style. Perhaps the advantage of consensus processes is that it creates the expectation that participants will listen to others, be vulnerable and be open to change.

It is naive to think that anything less than a Damascus Road experience will cause some people to recant of their arrogance. However, it is the case that when the consensus process, rather than combative ones, are used then people do change. The less strident, the more open-minded, the persons who have not solidified too much can be drawn away from such a group arrogance. The result is that the hardcore arrogant and aggressive people become a smaller group and so less influential over time. One thing is certain – picking a fight is only going to harden the aggression coming your way.

12. The Desire to Want to Dominate Others

Some people just love hierarchy and dominating over others. For them, that is the best way to organise the work. Especially if they are in the dominating group! This is far from a healthy pathology and yet it has a long tradition in the church!

Sadly, the church has a history of favouring some groups and putting others down. The privileged in such arrangements (usually men and clergy) don’t like to see the empowerment of others. They resist and this is often one of the reasons they oppose consensus discernment processes – because it empowers the marginalised.

Sometimes all that can be done is to persist in offering a counter view on the nature of the Christian community by persevering with consensus principles. Coupled with the commitment to spending 20% of the time in prayer and devotional activities there is a chance for God’s perspective to reach people. When we pray and fellowship around the Scripture and Holy Communion it is much harder to sustain the hierarchical approach that fosters domination.

13. Authoritarian Personality 

High authoritarians prefer a strong leader. Sometimes one will hear the criticism of consensus processes that nothing gets done. Then it is said that the solution is that we need is a strong leader. Chances are that this is a person who accepts an authoritarian approach to the world. There are plenty of “Evangelical” and other churches that have authoritarian Ministers! So chances are that people who go there actually prefer not to have to make decisions.

While authoritarians prefer an individual to be the boss it is more about having clear directions and being expected to follow them. Consensus discernment seeks to come down to a decision that has very high levels of support – certainty. It also has the theological expectation that people will defer to the wisdom / discernment of the group once a decision is made. Persons with authoritarian personalities can be very loyal to the one to which they pledge allegiance. So encourage them to be loyal to the decisions of the group!

Conclusion

When people are driven by psychological traits this will affect the way that they operate in group decision-making settings. By understanding these drivers it is possible to decide which consensus discernment processes are most helpful in combatting them.

Recognizing the psychological traits that encourage people to operate in a particular way empowers you to make constructive choices about how to behave rather than get sucked into their way of doing things.

25 Characteristics of Effective Groups

Are you in an Effective Group?

You know whether you are in effective small groups or not.  Am I right?

Recently, I changed Sunday School classes. The people in my previous class are really nice people. However the group rarely got into its Bible lesson without getting sidetracked by current events or politics. Some people were getting hurt by not agreeing with the majority view – others stopped attending. I simply grew frustrated. I was feeling that I was being held captive to someone’s rants or raves. It was not why I was there!

Can you identify with my experience? Sadly, many Christians do not feel that they’re a part of effective groups. Groups come in many forms – small groups for study or fellowship, a ministry team or a leadership Council. There are things that you can do to ensure your groups are effective.

How would you rate your group?

Think of groups to which you currently belong. Review this list of characteristics. It should be a group that meets regularly and has a clearly defined role. For each characteristic, rate your groups by circling a number at the end of the characteristic.

Key:    1=not really      5=so-so    10=on target

  1. Everyone arrives and leaves on time                            1     5     10
  2. Our leader is trained and effective                                 1     5     10
  3. Our group has a clearly defined purpose                     1     5     10
  4. All members participate                                                     1     5     10
  5. We communicate clearly and directly                          1     5     10
  6. Our discussions are focused and productive             1     5     10
  7. We don’t judge but seek to understand                       1     5     10
  8. We periodically evaluate how we are doing               1     5     10
  9. We have a set goal or agenda when we meet             1     5     10
  10. We pray for one another rather than prey                  1     5     10
  11. Our group accomplishes it’s goals                                 1     5     10
  12. We make decisions by consensus                                   1     5     10
  13. We all feel responsible for the group’s success        1     5     10
  14. We deal with conflict in a timely manner                   1     5     10
  15. We have a shared vision                                                      1      5     10
  16. Our group is growing as a team                                       1     5     10
  17. We do not pre-judge one another                                   1     5     10
  18. We value differences                                                             1     5     10
  19. We seek clarity not rambling                                            1     5     10
  20. No one dominates discussion                                           1     5     10
  21. We share information related to our task                   1     5     10
  22. We avoid group think or giving in to appease           1     5     10
  23. We use “I” statements                                                         1     5     10
  24. We test assumptions before making decisions         1     5     10
  25. We practice courteous communication practices    1     5     10

Tally up your score.

Look over your responses carefully.  Which column has the most circles?  Which has the least?  What does this tell you about your group? What are some specific ways your group can improve?

Conclusion

Being part of a group should be a good experience.  We have simply too many demands on our time to waste in a group that is not effective. I encourage you to not accept an under performing group. After you have analysed the group’s life talk to others about whether they share your concerns. You are unlikely to be alone in your thoughts. Then work out together what can be done to address each of the low scores. You don’t have to fix them all at once – but do make a start.

12 Early Warning Signs of Conflict (# 2)

In the last post we shared six warning signs about conflict. So that you can properly assess your situation here are another six warning signs that there is conflict in your group.

More Warning Signs of Conflict

7.  Leaders compete with one another and act uncivil to each other

You know that you are in a difficult position when leaders compete with one another for time and funding. Instead you would rather see collaboration with each other to ensure that both side’s needs are being met.  It is never wise to tolerate people making nasty comments to one another or  belittling one another.  Do your leaders sense that they are on the same team or is each one in it for themselves?

8.  Differences lead to withdrawal

As you look out over your congregation when they worship, or at participants in meetings do you notice people missing who once were active?  Often, people withdraw from regular activity when they sense that trouble is around.  There are a lot of people that would rather flee than fight. In your organization are matters dealt with in a timely manner or are they allowed to fester – which leads to people staying away?

9.  Little laughter is heard

This is perhaps one of the easiest warning signs to notice, yet one of the hardest to effectively deal with.  Have you noticed an absence of laughter and good-natured fun in your congregation?  Do people have the ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously?  Is there a good spirit that becomes obvious in tough times? Or, do people tend to take things too seriously all of the time and miss the moving of the spirit creating new windows to experience God’s love?

10.  Giving is more a chore than a joy

This is a sign that probably was on your own list of warning signs.  When financial giving is down, it is hard to make your expenses. You notice people get nervous during these times wondering how they are going to pay the bills. Unless there has been a catastrophic event in your community like the closing of a factory, or business that employs members of your church, the odds are high that members are withdrawing their support for a reason. Discovering that reason is a significant step in turning around the situation.

11.  Pastor/Judicatory Leader spends valuable time calming people

I have noticed over the years that as colleagues share with me the story of their call to ministry they never say: “I’m in ministry to keep people happy!”  Have you noticed the same thing?  It is not the job of the pastor or judicatory leader to constantly smooth the waters so people can remain calm and not face reality.

When my son was a teenager he would freguently say:  “I’m bored” or “I’m not happy.”  I learned to respond:  “What are you going to do about that?”  or “How can I help you deal with those feelings?”  Most often it was simply a matter of listening to him blow off steam in order to refocus or discover new options.  When church leaders in authority feel that it is their job to keep the peace (rather than make it), everyone suffers.  How well do you allow people to express their feelings?  Are you able to give the work back to people who complain so that they can be part of the solution rather than become a problem?

Christopher Columbus had three ships as he sailed to the new world.  His flagship was the Santa Maria.  When he reached what we now know was the Caribbean, he noticed that the Pinta was always falling behind for one reason after another rather than sailing with the other ships.  This slowed everyone down.  As his patience was exhausted he told the smaller ship’s crew that the other ships were sailing west in the morning.  When they set out the next day where was the Pinta? Right behind them! Lesson: keep your eye on where your organization must go in order to stay a float.  Allow others the chance to join you solving problems.

12.  Called meetings poorly attended (or packed)

This warning sign can go either way and still point to a larger problem: do people feel that their participation is essential to the wider organization?

I remember one church that I joined that was faced with a dilemma. Leaders said that they wanted to grow numerically and welcome younger people with children.  With hard work, we accomplished that goal. Suddenly it became clear to people that this growth was necessitating changes.  There was now a need for a nursery. This meant that an adult class would have to relocate to the Sanctuary for Bible Study on Sunday mornings.

Further, the Sanctuary was becoming too crowded during Worship and (dare I say it?) newcomers were sitting in seats usually occupied by older members.  The Pastor called a Worship Committee meeting to discuss the matter.  Only 2 people attended.  After coaching him to deal with the situation, he held a church-wide meeting to discuss the matter. 15 minutes before the meeting a line was forming around the building!  50 people were engaged in what was happening.  It took us one hour to complete a SWOT diagram together listing the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that the new growth was causing.  The meeting decided that we would start a second worship service within the month. We also agreed to work hard at fellowship opportunities to create spaces for people to get to know one another and be a congregation in 2 worship services. It worked!

What happens when you call a meeting to discuss a situation your congregation faces?  Do people have a sense that their participation is important?  Do they have a belief that they will all get to have a say, but not all will have their way?

Conclusion

There are 12 warning signs that conflict may be present in your church. Knowing these signs and effectively dealing with them can save your church energy and time.  Bottom line: when these warning signs are present do something!!

In our next post I will share some options for how you might respond if you see these signs.