Top 5 Resources for Courageous Conversations

How prepared are you for your next courageous conversations?

In these anxious times, we all face important decisions.  The way we speak and listen to one another makes the difference between simply making a point and discerning the future.

Here is a list of books that I find useful to foster dialogue and discernment within faith communities. Courageous conversations don’t just happen – they are led.

Turning to One Another:  Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future Meg Wheatley

When was the last time that you had conversations with a group that were transformational?  This delightful book reminds us that conversation is a holy endeavor.  Meg Wheatley states that we can change the world if we start listening to one another again.  Simple, honest, human conversations.

It is a sad commentary on today that most people would rather send a text than engage in conversations with others about things that really matter.  Most of us have not been trained in how to have a respectful exchange of ideas, feelings, and thoughts. An indictment of modern families is that they have not modelled healthy conversations and connections. This results in competition rather than collaboration!

Wheatly gives a basic structure to dialogue that generates creative options and strengthens relationships. She reminds us that conversation can be messy but a meaningful pursuit. Get the book here.

Fierce Conversations:  Achieving Success at Work and In Life, One Conversation at a Time Susan Scott

Scott defines “fierce” as robust, intense, strong, powerful and passionate.  When was the last time you took part in such a conversation?

This book reads like a roadmap to learning healthy ways to connect with one another so as to exchange ideas and viewpoints in healthy ways. Conversations are the work of a leader and the workhorse of an organization. They can lead to real, sustainable change that people can support.  Fierce conversation shifts trust toward a deeper level where people move beyond their activities and opinions to focus on results.

The author provides practical techniques and assignments that:

– overcome barriers to meaningful communication

– enrich relationships and expand your confidence

– increase clarity and improve understanding

– handle strong emotions (yours and others)

This guide reads easily and can transform the way you interact with others! Buy the book now.

The Art of Focused Conversation: 100 Ways to Access Group Wisdom in the Workplace R. Brian Stanfield (Ed)

What I appreciate most about this resources is

• various scenarios and situations are listed
• a simple outline to open a conversation
• excellent questions to exchange ideas and make decisions
• a closing exercise.

Stanfield organizes questions into 4 categories: Objective, Reflective, Interpretive and Decisional.  These different types of questions foster a healthy exchange of ideas and thoughts that move beyond the yes and no variety so prevalent in society.

This is an extremely practical resource to have on your shelf – you will reference it often.

How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey

Kegan and Lahey provide 7 languages for transformation that help you get what you need in your exchanges with others.  The 7 languages are shifts in the way we communicate that are vital to mutual understanding and accomplishing goals:

1. From the Language of Complaint to Commitment

2.  From the Language of Blame to Personal Responsibility

3.  From the Language of Resolutions to Competing Commitments

4. From the Language of Assumptions to Diagnose Resistance to Change

5.  From the Language of Prize and Praises to Ongoing Regard

6.  From the Language of Roles and Policies to Public Agreement

7.  From the Language of Deconstructive Criticism to Constructive Criticism

This masterpiece provides a positive viewpoint on how to interact with others in an honest, vital and transformational manner.  It is a must-read for Pastors and Lay chairs of committees.

The World Cafe: Shaping our Futures through Conversations that Matter Juanita Brown with David Isaacs

This is a fun guide to understanding Appreciative Inquiry that supports the belief that we can only be wise together.  The authors draw on the wisdom of the World Cafe community and outline a simple process to guide conversations that foster collaborative dialogue, sharing knowledge, and discovering new opportunities for action. The process can be adapted to any size group or culture.  It provides core principles for hosting meaningful conversations that shape a shared future:

a.  Set the Context

b.  Create Hospitable Space

C.  Exploring Options that Matter

d.  Encouraging Everyone’s Contribution

e.  Connect Diverse Perspectives

f.  Listen Together for Patterns and Insights

g. Harvest  New Directions/Discoveries

From my experience, this method is extremely helpful in discovering new avenues of ministry into your community based on your assets and gifts.  This book should be required reading for any Christian leader concerned about the future of their community and witness.  It is clear, concise, and powerful! Buy the book here.

I would love to hear what books and articles that you find help in making courageous conversations possible. Please share your titles and reviews in the comments section.