Understanding and Working Through the 7 Levels of Conflict

Conflict occurs when 2 or more people or ideas try to occupy the same place at the same time.  Understanding the 7 Levels of Conflict helps you understand the root causes and how to respond appropriately.

Note:  if a situation is mishandled, the level of conflict escalates. So it is always best to recognize the level and address it in a timely manner.

 

Level 1: Peace in the Valley

Level 1 is basically the phase where all is well.  Ministry is happening. Nothing is wrong and people work well together.  Unfortunately, this level is fleeting – it needs attention to thrive.

Possible responses include:

1.  Hold a shared vision before the group
2. Monitor actions between people and groups
3. Encourage creativity
4. Establish a Behavioral Covenant (link)
5. Practice good communication – use “I” statements

Level 2:  We Have a Problem to Solve Together

Level 2 is all about having a mutual problem to solve.  It’s about information. Perhaps there is a new ministry that needs space in the church or there is now a need for a nursery. At this phase, there is a high level of respect and trust.  You won’t find any personal attacks here.  The focus is on the present and what is possible.  You may notice some misinformation. People may not understand the need for a new ministry.  Perhaps an older Sunday school class is the perfect spot for the nursery because of its proximity tot he Sanctuary.

Possible responses include:

1.  Focus on the facts
2. Define the problem
3. Share information
4. Encourage collaboration to search for the best options to resolve the problem

At Level 2 it is important to train people on how to work through disagreements.  Set clear boundaries.  Be hard on the issue and soft on people.  Work for a win-win solution.

Level 3: We disagree but I want to look good!

Conflict can be caused by funding challenges and where the money is spent.  Offering a second worship service to reach new people.  Even setting a vision for the future can cause tensions to flare.  A disagreement about the strategies and methods used to accomplish a goal can upset people if not handled well. Even the process you use to reach an important decision is not received well.

At this level, people are self-protective and the problem becomes secondary.  They form sides and want to be right or save face.  The goal is to solve a disagreement yet you will notice that there is a record kept of wrongs against people.  Triangulation occurs and trust suffers.  People sometimes cast doubts on other people’s intent.  Things begin to get messy.

Possible responses include:

1.  Stay focused on common goals and ground
2. Stay in the moment
3. Help people seek to understand one another
4. Ask clarifying questions
5. Express feelings rather than opinions
6. Rebuild trust
7. When necessary: apologize!

Level 4:  We’re in a competition and I want to win!

At this level of conflict, different goals in a group are usually the culprit. You will notice that people are out to win and get their way regardless of what it does to others.  Mutual goals are not supported at this level.  It seems like people are in a contest to win by any means possible.

When power is misused and manipulation occurs, people take sides.  There is “us” vs “them” mentality.  Assumptions flourish. Personal attacks happen. An example of this level is trying to block a second language congregation for using your facility.  It may be that a neighboring church had a fire and needs a place to worship.

Possible responses include:

1.  Agree on ground rules
2. Set mutually acceptable goals
3. Talk separately with the various parties involved to clarify assumptions and check reality.  Discern the needs, objectives, and challenges of the groups involved.
4. Use liturgical means to bring about healing (prayers of confession, anointing, etc.)
5. Call in a crisis team or a trained facilitator to help people work through their situation in a just manner.

Level 5:  We will protect ourselves – You must leave!

This level of conflict is often directed at a Pastor or new members who come with different ideas on how to accomplish things.  It tends to focus on the norms or things that we believe.

In this situation, people want to protect their group.  They feel that there way of doing things or their core beliefs are being threatened.  Tensions escalate from the last level as people begin to plot to get rid of someone or a group.

You may notice that there are now organized factions that are causing people to fight or flee.  “You” statements are voiced.  People feel attacked and conflict becomes personal.  Some members feel uncomfortable with what is happening and panic – others leave.

Appropriate responses include:

1.  Separate people from the issues
2. Allow people to leave with dignity
3. Surface majority and minority views
4. Set boundaries
5. Use good organizational processes
6. Generate options for mutual gain
7. Focus on interests not positions
8. Hire a mediator

Level 6:  We’re at war and I will destroy you!

When things get out of hand and you reach this point, it is painful to everyone involved.  Groups want to destroy the other and are out for revenge.  Core values seem under attack. Deep positions become intense. There is actual talk of eradicating the opposition.

At this level, you will notice several things:  people forget that caused the conflict in the first place, issues become causes, people think the ends justify the means.  They become fanatical.  Positions deeper.

An example of this level that I see most often is getting rid of your pastor.  It’s not enough to get them “fired” – some have contacted the next congregation considering their call. Congregations that reach this point often split.

Possible responses include:

1.  Provide a cooling-off time
2. Stand down dysfunctional leaders for a set time (i.e. they can’t serve for a year, or until they receive training, etc.)
3. Hire a neutral arbitrator and agree to split or separate
4. Have a peace-keeping force (neutral third party)
5.  Design a treaty the parties will agree to keep.
6. Troublemakers must be disempowered or asked to leave

Level 7: Mutual Destruction

The name of the level says it all.  This is where a congregation is no longer viable.  Earlier attempts to resolve the conflict were not successful. A judicatory officer may then be invited to come and help disperse assets and other resources so they can be used in ministry by others.

Sadly, I witnessed this level in a suburban church.  The congregation was growing quickly and decided to build a new educational building. After much discussion, it was decided that the space would be used for children and youth ministry.  Money was raised.  As the building was completed, a small group made the decision to move the adults into a nice, new space.  Feeling betrayed, parents of children and youth threatened to leave if the church leaders did not honor their agreement.  When the Church Council refused, the parents and their families left leaving only a handful behind to pay the mortgage.  Unable to make payments,  the church building was put up for sale and the congregation disbanded.

Conclusion

It is essential to recognize the level of conflict and respond appropriately.  It teaches us how to work through difficult situations with a sense of grace and purpose.  When the level of conflict is managed well, everyone wins and the congregations become resilient.