Month: August 2018

Guidelines for Getting the Most out of Meetings

Ever had a wasted meeting?

If you are like me, you have participated in many meetings over the course of your lifetime: perhaps at work, school, church, civic groups, etc. In my experience, many of these meetings either contributed to rising conflict in the group, or led to poor decisions being made. Imagine all the time and energy that was invested in these meetings! Is it any wonder that people are actually shying away from joining groups that make decisions? We need a better approach. Thankfully there is one: consensus decision making. We also need guidelines for having successful consensus meetings.

So what is Consensus?

Consensus is simply the practice at arriving at a decision where participants are equally involved in making the decisions. It is a dynamic and creative way of reaching outcomes that work for all members of a group. Rather than having confusing substitutions, complicated voting or calling for the questions to stop discussion (as is the practice with Robert’s Rules of Order), consensus works by improving a proposal so that all can embrace the results. Of course, this means that all opinions, ideas and concerns of participants are taken into account. It is a respectful process where relationships and end results are both valued.

Doesn’t this take more time?

Absolutely not! Once the practice becomes familiar with a group, it actually takes about the same time as a parliamentary procedure or even less. It certainly generates a course of action that has the support it needs to be successful. Furthermore,  decisions are less likely to be revisited or challenged later. (For more information, see previous posts on this site about the process or read our book: “The Church Guide for Making Decisions Together” Abingdon Press, 2017.)

What you can do to help the process

  • Before you do anything else: pray. Ask for guidance in participating well in the meeting.  Pray for the chair of the meeting as well as other participants.  Lift up the hope of a just resolution.
  • Come to the meeting with a collaborative mindset. Read the proposal in advance and make a list of what you can support in it as well as a list of questions you have about the material. Beginning with a proper attitude is essential. Rather than beginning with your objections or arguments, ask yourself: “What is this proposal trying to achieve?” “What can I support?”
  • Be willing to work towards the solution that’s best for the everyone, not just what you desire to happen. This takes a flexible mindset and the ability to compromise in order to reach an agreement. Sometimes a huge roadblock to reaching consensus is one person’s attachment to their own idea. Ask yourself: “Does this new idea work best for the group, even if I didn’t think of it first?”
  • Help to create a respectful and trusting atmosphere. In consensus, it is important that everyone feels that they can express their ideas and opinions.  Its not worth getting upset by differences in approach. Strive to keep an open mind.
  • Listen actively to what other people are saying and what they value. Use good communication strategies like respectful listening. Make every effort to understand someone’s position and their underlying needs, and concerns. If you don’t understand what is beng said- say so. Allow adequate time and space to consider various points of views.
  • When you have the opportunity to express your own position, do so as clearly and concisely as possible. Rather than trying to convince others of the merit of your argument,  be open and honest about the reasons for your viewpoint. Work with others to develop the best way forward.
  • It’s natural for their to be disagreement or conflict over things people value or feel strongly about. Consensus isn’t about everyone thinking the same thing at the same time. Differences of opinion are natural. When disagreements arise, they can actually help form a stronger option that has not been considered before. You need a wide range of information to do this successfully. In fact, if you reach consensus too quickly it may mask that a group fears disagreement or does not have the ability to work through it in healthy ways. It may also mean that people do not feel safe enough in the process to be honest with the group and express a different opinion.
  • Use your cards wisely. Rather than vote, the use of colored response cards are helpful to reaching consensus. Instruct people on how to use the response cards wisely. Blue cards are used after a person speaks to signal to the chair that they are cool to the idea that was shared. It also means that the group is not ready to reach consensus and needs more time. An orange card signals that you are favorable to an idea or that you are ready to reach consensus. Use the cards to signal your response to what is being said.
  • Celebrate your decisions.  Affirm people for the time and energy it takes to make good decisions.  Over time, people will feel comfortable with the process and feel comfotable with it.

By following these simple guidelines, you can have a successful consensus decision-making meeting.

Tips for a Chair of a Consensus Meeting

We’ve discussed the various parts of the consensus decision-making process. Now it’s time to provide tips for the chair of the meeting. Like other business meetings, there is a certain level of skill involved in completing consensus decision-making in your organization. There are specific skills you can learn to make the process go smoothly. The answer to “how” begins with a simple “yes” that you want to do this process well.

Considerations for a Well-Run Meeting

Here is a list of factors that will help you successfully Chair your next meeting using consensus decision-making:

  1.  Prepare: Most meetings get off to a poor start because the participants are confused about the details. Be sure your leaders know the time and place of the meeting. Provide an agenda in advance so people know what to expect. Also, provide a copy of the proposal to each person attending at least 7 days in advance of the meeting. Make sure that the rationale / reasoning/ aim of the proposal/ resolution is provided seperate from the proposal.
  2. Pray: Perhaps this sounds unnecessary to mention, yet it is important.  Pray for your facilitation of the meeting and for the people attending. Ask God’s guidance for the process.
  3. Room Arrangements: How the room is arranged is a key factor to the success of the meeting. The Chair should be seated at a place in the room where they can clearly see all participants.
  4.  Audio Support: People need to hear clearly what is being said in the meeting. If the group is large enough, you may need microphones for the chair and in key locations in the meeting space for participants.
  5. Visuals: In most meetings, it is helpful to have some type of projection of material. This is true of the actual proposal itself with the ability to edit the document in real time during the meeting.
  6. Presentation of the Proposal: As chair, you should help the presenter of the proposal to be prepared to share the background for the proposal as well as the actual wording before the meeting. They should be ready to place the proposal before the group in a succinct manner. You will need to get a second from someone in the group to move the proposal forward. It helps to have these people lined up in advance of the meeting so there are no surprises.
  7. Receiving Questions: Once the proposal is before the group, allow time for questions for clarification. Be alert! Sometimes people will nest a question in a revision. Or they will make a statement or speech with a question mark at the end! This is not the time for debate or to improve the document – it’s space to be sure that you understand the proposal and the impact it may have on your group. If someone raises a revision, call them out of order by gently asking them to bring that suggestion to the group at the appropriate time in the meeting.
  8. Teachable Moments: As chair, it is helpful to acknowledge where you are in the process and guide the group toward full participation. When someone does something not helpful to the process, invite them to wait until the process is open to their input. On those occasions when a participant asks a good question or does something to advance the process, call attention to it so people can gain confidence in how those things support the group.
  9. Deliberation: This is the real meat of the process. As Chair of the meeting, you will need to be on your toes during this section of the meeting. Invite the group to think about what they can support in the proposal or what would help them support the proposal. Sometimes asking people to ‘pair and share’ their responses to these questions with one another. This allows the introverts in the group an opportunity to participate on a deeper level. If you are working with a very large group, you may want to divide the participants into smaller groups to allow this conversation to happen. After you allow time for this interaction, call the group together and ask participants to share their revisions or suggestions to improve the proposal.
  10. Perfecting the Proposal: Once you move into the part of your meeting where people can make suggestions to revise the initial proposal it is important to have a scribe or recorder capture the comments so people can see them in real time. This could be done in Powerpoint, or on a sheet of newsprint. In large groups, have people submit their revision in writing.  Take your time and slow this part of the meeting to the pace that it is easy for people to stay current with the conversation. This prevents duplication of comments or getting stuck.
  11. Gaining Support: As Chair, it is crucial that you are able to guide the group toward full participation so everyone is heard. Sometimes, asking if there is a voice in the room or perspective that you have not heard yet is helpful.  Whenever you ask this question allow time for a response. Another way to read the group is with the use of colored cards. Have blue and orange cards cut to 5X7 (A5 or even larger) for each participant. Explain that blue means that you are cool to an idea or not ready to support the proposal. Orange denotes that you are warm to an idea expressed or ready to make a decision. Invite the group to use their cards whenever a person speaks in the deliberation phase. This provides you with a good idea of whether the group is working well with the material before them or even ready to make a decision.
  12. Ready for a Decision: At this point in the meeting, the proposal has been shaped by the wisdom in the group. It’s time to make a decision and there are many ways to do this. The easiest is to simply ask for a show of cards if all are orange – you have consensus! But if you are building consensus before a vote, then a show of hands in support of the proposal as well as a show of hands not supporting the proposl will work. Some groups will ask if anyone is standing outside of consensus on the matter to hear why they feel as they do. This provides one more chance to perfect the proposal.
  13. Acknowledging the Work: once the process has run its course and a decision has been made thank the presenter of the proposal as well as the participants for their dedication on completing the decision.

Conclusion

You will find over time that the consensus decision-making process gets shorter and easier for participants. Also, the results get more creative and easier to implement. Your role as the Chair of the meeting, makes this possible. Do everything in your power to run the meeting well and empower the group to make good decisions.

Tips for Participants in a Consensus Decision-Making Meeting

Calling Participants in Consensus

Not many people have had a lot of experience as participants in a consensus decision-making meeting. No worries. It can be learned and become familiar to you by looking over the following tips.

Considerations for Participants

Look over this list to learn more about successfully participating in your next business meeting.

  1.  Prepare: Be sure to receive and read the Agenda of the meeting in advance. This is also true of any supporting document like proposals. Do not come to the meeting without adequately preparing for the session. Make a list of questions that you have about the material. What words do I not understand? Do I really understand what will happen if I support this proposal?
  2. Pray: Part of getting ready for the meeting is to pray for the Chair of the meeting as well s the other participants. Ask God’s guidance as you consider the proposal. Be open to the Spirit’s counsel.
  3. Be on Time: Arrive at the meeting 15 minutes in advance, get yourself settled and make positive caring connections with the other members. Play your part in building the community!
  4. Ask Good Questions. Make a list of respectful questions about the matter before the group. These questions should focus on the meaning of the words as well as who is impacted by the decision. Questions are not a chance to make a speech but a way to be faithful and open.
  5. Be a Team Player. Making good decisions is not a solo occupation – it is the work of the community gathered for that purpose. One way to be a good team player is to adjust your attitude. You’re all on the same side. Rather than lobbying against a proposal, ask yourself what it would need to contain to get your support. Be ready to voice it your concerns and ideas in a respectful manner – with a view to offering idea on how you can support the  proposal.
  6. Use Your Cards. Participants should be given a blue and orange card. Blue means that cool to an idea, not ready to support the proposal yet, or that you have a question. Orange means that you are warm to an idea, or ready to support the proposal. Use your cards each time someone speaks so that the chair can read the wisdom in the room. This helps the meeting to progress smoothly.
  7. Practice Good Communication. Use “I” statements: “I feel…” or “I believe…” whenever possible. Take ownership of your perspective.  When you make a mistake, own that as well. If helpful acknowledge that you have changed your mind or apologize.
  8. Work Towards the Greater Good. Rather than trying to get your own way or prevent something from happening, work for the good of the group. Making decisions is not about getting our own way, but of discerning God’s best hope for the group and community.
  9. Relax. Over time, the process will become familiar and take less time. Be patient.

Conclusion

Learning to make decisions by consensus is a noble endeavor. You can do it! In the long run, you will notice a greater ownership of ideas and the decisions. There will be an enhanced creativity to resolve issues. It will also be easier to put a matter to rest and implement the decision.

Worship Service of Reconciliation and Forgiveness

Conflict can be destructive in a congregation or organization. Once you deal with a major conflict in your group it is not just enough in a church context to talk about it and leave it at that. Healing – deep healing – needs to draw on spiritual resources.

So plan to bring these spiritual resources before the community of faith with a special worship service. Its order and content will focus on how to foster reconciliation and forgiveness. This helps people move on in a positive way – resourced by God to do so.

The following Order of Worship is one that I use.  Make adjustments to reflect your traditional order of worship, your denomination or culture. Involve as many people as possible by having laity read Scripture, read prayers, etc.

ORDER OF WORSHIP

FOR A SERVICE OF HEALING AND RECONCILIATION

Call to worship: 

*Opening Hymn: “The Church’s One Foundation” UMH* 545 (or other song that reminds people of their common ground)

Pastoral Prayer

Children’s message on forgiveness

Offering (special music)

Doxology

*Scripture: Exodus 3 – 4:17 (on the call of Moses) or Ephesians 4 (Unity of the Body)

Message 

     Statements of Gratitude and Affirmation

Prayer of Thanksgiving

ALL:

          We thank you, O Lord,

          for all the ways you have blessed us here at (name of church)

          You have given us gifted leaders

          You have blessed us with a community of faith

          You have endowed our lives with goodness

          You have given us the Holy Scriptures

          But most of all,

          you have given us the gift of your Son Jesus Christ

          and the healing power of your Holy Spirit.

          For all these blessings and more,

          we praise and thank you.

          Through Jesus Christ we pray, Amen

 Statements of Regret and Confession

Prayer of Confession

LEADER

If we claim that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,

and the truth is not in us.

PEOPLE

          But if we confess our sins,

          God who is faithful and just

          will forgive our sins

          and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

LEADER

Let us confess our sins against God and our neighbor…

Moments of Silence

 PEOPLE

          Merciful God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ;

          maker of all things; judge of all people:

          we acknowledge the many sins and failures

          that we have committed

          by thought, word, and action

          against each other and against you.

          We earnestly repent.

          We are deeply sorry for our damaging words

          and our destructive behaviors.

          In your mercy forgive what we have been,

          help us to amend what we are,

          and direct what we shall be,

          so that we may delight in your will

          and walk in your ways, giving you the glory.

          Amen

LEADER

Hear the good news!

The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance,

that Christ Jesus came into the world

to save sinners.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross,

that we might be dead to sins

and be alive to all that is good.

In the name of Jesus Christ, embrace God’s

forgiveness and peace.

Signs of God’s Peace (handshakes or embraces shared with the words:  The Peace of Christ be with you!  Response:  And also with you!)

Holy Communion (Pastor)

Annointing (Lay leader) (Make the sign of the cross with oil on people’s right hands with the words:  (Name), live as a forgiven child of God)

 Closing Hymn: “Blest Be the Tie That Binds” UMH 557

Benediction/Sending

  • UMH refers to the United Methodist Hymnal

This Order of Worship is especially meaningful after your congregation has worked through a serious conflict and people have owned their part in the tension and agree to work together in peace.