Guidelines for Getting the Most out of Meetings

Ever had a wasted meeting?

If you are like me, you have participated in many meetings over the course of your lifetime: perhaps at work, school, church, civic groups, etc. In my experience, many of these meetings either contributed to rising conflict in the group, or led to poor decisions being made. Imagine all the time and energy that was invested in these meetings! Is it any wonder that people are actually shying away from joining groups that make decisions? We need a better approach. Thankfully there is one: consensus decision making. We also need guidelines for having successful consensus meetings.

So what is Consensus?

Consensus is simply the practice at arriving at a decision where participants are equally involved in making the decisions. It is a dynamic and creative way of reaching outcomes that work for all members of a group. Rather than having confusing substitutions, complicated voting or calling for the questions to stop discussion (as is the practice with Robert’s Rules of Order), consensus works by improving a proposal so that all can embrace the results. Of course, this means that all opinions, ideas and concerns of participants are taken into account. It is a respectful process where relationships and end results are both valued.

Doesn’t this take more time?

Absolutely not! Once the practice becomes familiar with a group, it actually takes about the same time as a parliamentary procedure or even less. It certainly generates a course of action that has the support it needs to be successful. Furthermore,  decisions are less likely to be revisited or challenged later. (For more information, see previous posts on this site about the process or read our book: “The Church Guide for Making Decisions Together” Abingdon Press, 2017.)

What you can do to help the process

  • Before you do anything else: pray. Ask for guidance in participating well in the meeting.  Pray for the chair of the meeting as well as other participants.  Lift up the hope of a just resolution.
  • Come to the meeting with a collaborative mindset. Read the proposal in advance and make a list of what you can support in it as well as a list of questions you have about the material. Beginning with a proper attitude is essential. Rather than beginning with your objections or arguments, ask yourself: “What is this proposal trying to achieve?” “What can I support?”
  • Be willing to work towards the solution that’s best for the everyone, not just what you desire to happen. This takes a flexible mindset and the ability to compromise in order to reach an agreement. Sometimes a huge roadblock to reaching consensus is one person’s attachment to their own idea. Ask yourself: “Does this new idea work best for the group, even if I didn’t think of it first?”
  • Help to create a respectful and trusting atmosphere. In consensus, it is important that everyone feels that they can express their ideas and opinions.  Its not worth getting upset by differences in approach. Strive to keep an open mind.
  • Listen actively to what other people are saying and what they value. Use good communication strategies like respectful listening. Make every effort to understand someone’s position and their underlying needs, and concerns. If you don’t understand what is beng said- say so. Allow adequate time and space to consider various points of views.
  • When you have the opportunity to express your own position, do so as clearly and concisely as possible. Rather than trying to convince others of the merit of your argument,  be open and honest about the reasons for your viewpoint. Work with others to develop the best way forward.
  • It’s natural for their to be disagreement or conflict over things people value or feel strongly about. Consensus isn’t about everyone thinking the same thing at the same time. Differences of opinion are natural. When disagreements arise, they can actually help form a stronger option that has not been considered before. You need a wide range of information to do this successfully. In fact, if you reach consensus too quickly it may mask that a group fears disagreement or does not have the ability to work through it in healthy ways. It may also mean that people do not feel safe enough in the process to be honest with the group and express a different opinion.
  • Use your cards wisely. Rather than vote, the use of colored response cards are helpful to reaching consensus. Instruct people on how to use the response cards wisely. Blue cards are used after a person speaks to signal to the chair that they are cool to the idea that was shared. It also means that the group is not ready to reach consensus and needs more time. An orange card signals that you are favorable to an idea or that you are ready to reach consensus. Use the cards to signal your response to what is being said.
  • Celebrate your decisions.  Affirm people for the time and energy it takes to make good decisions.  Over time, people will feel comfortable with the process and feel comfotable with it.

By following these simple guidelines, you can have a successful consensus decision-making meeting.